Tag Archives: toxic

involvement

i don’t deserve

the patience

and the grace

i’m but a faltering

echo of a silent

distant disgrace

stay away from my

startling ignorance

or you’ll find yourself

caught in a senseless

and endless dance

i’m delusional, manic

i’m nothing but toxic

don’t linger too long

you’ll end up getting sick.

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eye. see. you.

and your eyes

are toxic

i close my own

and see

glimpses of that

wary glint

digging daggers in

my sockets

hurting me badly

the longer

i stare, the longer

you glare

shade of the pupils

snap fibres

blinding me again—

and i miss it…

i miss dying in your

violent gaze.

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There’s Something About Her

Am I eccentrical? 
Exactly what you want
You’d rather give me up
I’m all alone, yeah, I’m alive
Just see how I arrive
Am I someone that you adore?

~*~

What is it about you

That makes me believe

That I’m always less

Of me than I need?

.

What is it about you

That makes me vain

To throw bricks at your

Window when it rains?

.

What is it about you

That makes me stare

To spit in my own eyes

Frustrated that I care?

.

What is it about you

That makes me envy hurt

As the sting of your apathy

Tastes like bittered ice curt?

.

What is it about you

That makes me feel bad

That makes me feel anger

And shitty love in a ballad?

.

What is it about you

That makes me remember

Conversations hostaged by

A gun, memories never over?

.

What is it about you

That makes me see myself

In the chasm of your eyes

Drinking me in to the death?

.

What is it about you

That makes me ask again

Even though you ceased

I’m tempted to keep you in?

.

What is it about you

Making me loathe you thorough

Tell me, just what is it about you

That makes me deign for you so?

~*~

I don’t care, don’t let me die here
Wait, you know I wanna, wait, you know I’m gonna
It’s like you want me to, it’s like you want me to
Stay, you know I’m gonna, stay, you know I wanna
It’s like you want me to, it’s like you want me to fail…

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Glass Shards Taste Sweeter Than Revenge

Cut off my wings and come lock me up
Just pull the plug yeah, I’ve had enough
Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts
You’re all vampires so here
You can have my heart…

~*~

you’re not worth

swallowing eggshells for

i wish i knew before i

digested all your bullshit

not everyone can spill

sunshine when they speak

and i’d rather die by my

own hand than your radiation

so take a fucking razor

and cut your palms open

just bleed the hell out

and drown all the demons

and pull yourself so far under

isn’t that what you always want?

don’t let the roses stop you

burn me out as you did

to those innocent paper towns

because i’m waterlogged anyway

you’ve no use for my pages

and yet you persist to write the

profanities and revilement

just to wipe condescension in

like your own twisted diary

i hope you’re happy now

from slashing my ankles simply

‘cause you got tired of this

if you can’t chase, no one can

honestly i’m glad you cut me off

though i may be crippled, at

least my conscience isn’t paralysed

my shame isn’t metastasised

i guess so long, goodnight, and

good goddamned riddance

hope you have fun stepping on

the glass shards i spit out for you.

~*~

So come rain on my parade, ’cause I wanna feel it
Come shove me over the edge ’cause my head is in overdrive
I’m sorry, but it’s too late and it’s not worth saving
So come rain on my parade, I think we’re doomed
I think we’re doomed, and now there is no way back…

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Collide in Contagion

Bury me in the bedroom where I, I can sing you to sleep all night
Put me next to the open window, promise me a second time
‘Cause I don’t want to leave without you buried by my side
I’d rather kill the one responsible for falling stars at night
Cause they fall all around me, the night can be deadly….

~*~

You’re the honorary

Disease of my cardiovascular

Eradication, love

The million spider bites

Injecting toxin in my system

Until my nerves seize

Like the abrupt hitch of my

Asthmatic breath when

Your fangs sank into soft flesh

And painted my skin red

Red as the cerise vows you made

That gave me scarlet fever

.

But where would we end up

If it weren’t for your pellucid palate

And bloodlust for melodrama

Rictus interlocked against rictus

Disgustingly quivering as

Both mouths whispered bullshit

That intensifies the acrid taste

Of our executed demise

I’ll carve profanities in your

Fractured ribcage, and pierce this

Needle past your deflated lungs

Serrated viciously until you gasp for air

.

I buried this disgusting romance

Under a reckless murder scene

And if you think you can dig it back up

I’ll hit your head with the shovel

Your eyes are protanopic machines

My lips feel like corroded metal

So rust away the scar tissues

And mangle in the alkaline fear

Pernicious hysteria and controversies

Realining my taut fasciculus

Sealed surgery with parallax thorns

Festering in my paralytic accident again

.

So tell me if my parasitic mind

Is as right as your moral ambiguity

I’m inhaling your reputation

Like crushed cocaine and car smoke

But the crash test of my dopamine

Is beginning to rapidly decline

And the agony of your bruises are

Already starting to fucking set in again

My encephalon is incapacitated

You took advantage of the ill

But love, if this is what it takes to

Collide me with your wrecked body

Then I don’t ever want to heal.

~*~

And I don’t care if you’re sick
I don’t care if you’re contagious
I would kiss you even if you were dead
Would somebody make me go blind for the rest of my life?
‘Cause I’d do anything to hold your hand!

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Leave The Truth Alone

There’s nothing really left to say
And I don’t need you to explain
We don’t need those lines
So tired of living in the past
So if we’re gonna make it last
We should leave it all behind
I’d rather you lie than throw it all away…

~*~

I’ll beat you out when you talk your candid games

You said love, I say brainwashed, it’s just the same

Think you can handle the kilometres on my gauge

Step on the pedal honey, kill the switch, disengage

.

So just kick my shins, I’ll fucking jump off the ceiling

They think it’s blatant suicide, but it has no meaning

Cheers to poisons gurgling at the back of our throats

Who knew living out the rest would be my footnote?

.

The lowest type tries to burn the oceans with a match

And marionettes pretty girls, with no strings attached

But the doctors won’t hit me up with more medication

Guess I’m not meant for surgeries and wasted sedation

.

Tonight I met the sun and moon drinking at a 24/7 bar

They told me to fuck off, they don’t got any more stars

And the sky has turned serrated from the lacerated eyes

I’m done making vicious promises, through playing nice

.

Don’t you dare take the trite polygraph out of my tongue

That gin and tonic does our thing, have ten shots for fun

And while we’re at it, shooting blank rounds at the wind

Say this story’s a threadbare hoax, just another banal sin.

~*~

How deep do you wanna go?
Don’t you know that some things
Are better left alone?
They’re better left alone…

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Lies in Jewelry Boxes

Your sophism was a true talent

Which I was rather envious of

Lacing my tongue like hemlock

Its toxicity I’ve learned to love

Diamond lies glimmer lethally

I mined it out of your arteries

Coruscating past an acid flesh

Transpiercing it all desultorily

Who am I to cease your whims?

Cuffs bejeweled with gold voices

So offer me rubies and sapphires

If you feel precious and helpless

Faux phantasm you think succinct

Painting an entity bland and bleak

And I was a fool to let you think I am

You didn’t have to lie to be the higher man.

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:)

Dive in, take a breath
Blow the smoke through the hole in my chest
Still choking on the bed
Found your waste while the ember red
Keeps falling down and burning holes…

~*~

I guess I’ll just keep on smiling…

With my pained chest constricting, relapsed into hyperventilating

My befuddled demented mind left all dizzy, my vision broken and blurring

Shivers run down my back constantly, knotted stomach a dull weight

Goosebumps dotting my sickly skin, silver tears threatening to break

.

Gloomy noose unraveled and left lying on the cold slick floor

Dried bloodstains blotting the carvings of the solid oaken door

Deep dents left by wounded knuckles on the laughing white wall

A ringing phone’s shrill voice screams for attention, an unanswered call

.

Dark circles and sunken eyes disguised with a thick colourful mask

Shaking voice strengthened easily by a swig on a whiskey flask

Crimson scars covered with haute couture fashion and coats

Pallid complexion barely recognisable under that false fervid glow

.

It’s careless, it’s thoughtless, for they all think me as flawless

I’d try to convince them otherwise, but I reckon it’s just pointless

With no means to eject this deadly toxin, no catharsis as a cure

This poison further contaminates me, putrid sludge seeping my soul pure

.

I’m way past my breaking point, but no one would ever expect me to crack

For they perceive me as just a wall of solid steel, a shell of stoic block

So for now don’t break your character, me, and don’t fall down crumbling

Just suck it all in, it’s nothing, I’m okay…I guess I’ll just keep on smiling.

: )

~*~

I know that it’s not safe here
You did this to yourself but have no fear
Just hold your breath and swim under…

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L[o]E[v]A[e]D Poisoning

I am lead;

I poison your blood

Fog up your head

Clear as mud

.

The silver liquid dripping down my tongue

Like an angel disguised in the darkness

Dare you have a taste, maybe just one?

It won’t hurt much, I promise

.

Transfer my toxicity

With my kiss of death

From my lips to your body

Passion for your health

.

Feel the love, but no longer think

Close your eyes, but no longer blink

Feel the poison shift the gears of your mind

Leave all hate and sanity behind

.

A life for a life, bliss for bliss

Intertwine your fate with mine

For when I leave, I know you’ll miss

The acrid taste of Heaven, divine

.

Will you release common sense for me?

Go crazy with the qualms of love?

Take your soul and set it free

Until your brain, you no longer have

.

Will you gladly step on a mine?

Dance with death? Hug a knife?

My love comes with a fatal design

I understand your refusal for the sake of your life

.

I am lead; taste my pain

Love me like the fire loves the rain

Risk your life, and I shall always remain

Love me until your madness is permanently retained.

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