Tag Archives: tragedy

Lie to the Truth

When I started out writing you this song
I was heels over head in love, but you had your doubts
‘Cause it took too long to finally see what I
What I’d been doing wrong…

~*~

My brain no longer contracts

Or twists in circles at the thought

My blood no longer circulates

And my heart fails to leap a beat

.

Oh, this tragedy of fugacious whims

Beating down the numb with too much sense

Compromising to entangle red strings

Hoping that two souls would starve the same

,

But three’s a crowd, and the painful hunger persists

It’s time to throw one or the other to the tides

The way of happy reality is just a sorrowful mystery

As double half-truths last longer than the truth

.

I attempt to convince myself of the erroneous fact

As if that would save the submerging illusion

Pretend I’m not drowning under as I take on water

And hold the hands of the heavyweight elation

.

Feelings disappearing before orion storms wash away

Agitated pulse screaming of kerosene fires and laudanum

Pulling my drifting self behind in a cage of indecision

Before all that I have is confiscated from my faltering eyes.

~*~

We tried to be true but you still loved him so
I’ll keep my distance and lie to the truth
I lie to the truth, I lie to the truth’
Cause you lied to it too…

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ghost in the walls

Broken compass still moving forward
A constant north, the one I’ll never know
Like everything, I gravitate to what ends up killing me
We’re separated by a hell of a lot more than the sky…

~*~

i have not dwelt

simply to haunt the stubborn

nor to be wasted away

by tides of hubris.

i may be a mere spectre

but i am nary a ghost

nor another figment of your

mischievous imagination.

you may think me but

another flickering shadow

lingering past peripheral visions,

in the darker corners of your

tired, bleary, hallucinating eyes,

but i am not transient

and quiet mantras and disheartened

prayers will not be enough to

make me go away, vanish.

and my silhouette shall eclipse

your sunrise mind, until

persistence turns to paranoia

and mysticism turns to madness,

morphing your shallow dreams

into abysmal nightmares…

you deserve it,

for you are a murderer—

you have not killed my body,

but you have mercilessly mutilated

my spirit, leaving my heart

beating steady yet badly hollow,

making me vainly ache

for the former tragedy instead.

with what you have done,

it is only fair and just for me

to be the deathless past

billowing rather furiously

behind your closed curtains,

trapping you in my perpetual gale

as you have done to me.

for i have not dwelt simply

to be another superstitious legend

passed around in whispers,

nor will i stay in insignificant limbo

just to be entirely washed away

by the arrogant tides of

the fear you once called love.

~*~

Your wings might be broken but it’s not too late
You hide your emotions so you can escape
You can’t be afraid to make mistakes
And you can’t fake perfection…

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Inconceivable

What haven’t I done? What have I done?
What haven’t I done to deserve a cold war
On all sides? It’s so bleak all the time
“Stay with me. You’re alone in the center of hell. Just be.”
The longest winter I have ever seen
From hospital to hospital, repeat…

~*~

Her eyes won’t open up anymore

As the flower in her womb began to wilt tonight

Petals sifting into her nervous system

And she looks so good in bandaged white

.

Won’t you stay with me, please?!

The traffic lights won’t amount to the hell

That I’m driving myself straight into

Hoping to find her broken body at the end of the well

.

For a while, she was beginning to blossom

Delicate heliotrope blots dotting her pallid cheeks

But the intruding scarlet painted her open lips

She looks so beautiful, please let this be a trick…

.

Hold on, please hold on, I’ll be there with you

If only you’d take a breath if I held mine as long as I do

I could kill god for all the wrongs I’ve committed

But that doesn’t give him the right to take it out on you

.

Her pulsating shallow beat is slowly going thud thud thud

Like my fist on the hospital doors, I arrived in time for the flatline

As the thorns rage around her heart, the flower begins to decay

If she loses, then I’ve lost, I wouldn’t have it any other way

.

I can’t…I can’t believe this…why did you—why did you leave me?

My foot won’t ease on the pedal, and the carbon monoxide is choking

‘Cause there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can see her face

Calling out to me, the headlights blind me as I fall into her embrace…

.

C R A S H.

~*~

First I need to save the life of god
So that god can come and save me from myself
If I have to walk alone I’m giving up
I can’t stay here knowing love is not enough…

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It All Falls Apart

I wish I could, but I don’t always
Keep the promises I’ve kept
I wish I could, but I can’t always
Give whatever I have left
And now it’s all so clear, doesn’t anyone
See what’s happening here?

~*~

Put me back together, just another plea unheard

Walking away from tragedy, walking with the truth

For elastic tongues can deceive us no longer

Collapsing narcolepsy is a premise for the fervour

.

Time had a deadline, and we’re not built to last

Every time I look back is just a bullet from the past

Reminded of the way it was before the war began

And ended with waste and sorrow, and a broken man

.

The space, the divide, the disconnected furrows

This time as we fired the shots, we made sure to be thorough

Didn’t give me a choice, just a white flag to surrender

Shouting seventh chances from another graceless pretender

.

What could I have done? What would you choose?

I was so ready to give it up, though I didn’t want to lose

What was there to take? Was there anything to fix?

I was paying for my dirty crime with capricious tricks

.

Everything I am, reduced now to what I once was

Blood on my words and on my hands, unremarkable and crass

What can’t be forgiven now lays in a grave so shallow

Who knew that when everything falls apart, it leaves a scar so hollow.

~*~

It falls apart form the very start, it falls apart
Seems like everything I touch falls apart
Everything around me falls apart
When I walk away from you…

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Just Another Burnt-Out Bulb

I scraped my knees while I was praying
And found a demon in my safest haven, seems like
It’s getting harder to believe in anything
Then just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts…

~*~

There’s a free fall all the way to tragedy’s scene

Another shortcut straight to mending back hell

But the doors don’t work, and I’m stuck in between

Reaching for the coin I lost at the bottom of the well

Perfection was your pride, and I turned the lights off

So I couldn’t see the mess we’ve done, the damage cost

The worst part wasn’t the scream, I didn’t know whose

But when I realised that I lost the only thing I have to lose.

~*~

I wanna know what it’d be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light
I’ll turn it off in all my spite…

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How To Say “Sorry”

There’s ten million ways to say an apology

But I could only count five stars blinking out on the palm of my hand

Whispering that this illusion’s grand, and I’m too infinitesimal to understand

How the world works and spins in its torque

How the skies are blue and why there’s rain in June

Why everyone lies and why people die

Why memories are memories, why angels don’t fly

Why chaos reigns in anarchy, and why you refused to say sorry

Even though I was bleeding out in front of you

And how the bruises are evidence for my allegations being true

But even without the vivid purple tattooed on my skin

I could still count every single sin

That you carved with a knife on the back of my heart

Saying you won’t end my life when you killed me with an art

Pressing down, feeling rife, tearing my veins apart

Will you still say this was simply for a restart?

For an iota of the darkest eyes you still call human

Face away from the tragedy and turn your soul to the sun

If those lips are crushed under the pressure of the truth

Fucking scream about everything, they won’t refuse if they knew

About the spinning planet, how they won’t understand it

About the blue skies and rainy day day lies

About death and regrets and how angels can fly

About memories being memories, and chaos made to create

And about how you refused to say sorry while you stood at hell’s gate

I’m at a loss for words, and everything escapes—

There’s ten million ways to say an apology

But I could only count one mouth moving soundlessly at the palm of my hands

Saying that my delusion’s grand, and I’m too foolish to understand

Against the stubbornness and the haze, that you were never one of the ways.

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Vita Dell’aldilà: An Tragedy Opera in Four Parts

A makeshift smile, a polished look
Some rehearsed lines was all it took
He had it down, man, he was good
A woman screams, her mother weeps
A life so changed irrevocably
What he stole from her is gone for good…

~*~

ACT I: TERRO

Shadows under a spotlight, curtains calling and faces falling

Misfortune malady and maidens in masks, tickets outselling

The man of the show, the leading actor dies of a heart attack

They applaud his craft, the prima donna screams come back…

~*~

ACT II: INFERNO

Pantomimes place props, as paramedics arrive for scene two

The act has turned, audiences gasp, orchestra goes crescendo

A stagehand slips and farers faint, dim lighting and all is dire

Cigar tossed, a painted background of inferno catches on fire…

~*~

ACT III: PURGATORIO

The doctor announces the demise of a thespian, tears are shed

Performers pause for unfortunate condolence, in a quiet stead

Breaths hushed and whispers silenced in devastated memorial

As the stage director pays his respects, and indicates the burial…

~*~

ACT IV: PARADISO

But the artists recover, as the crowd settles down to a murmur

Limelight brightens, musical tempo, inquiries made no further

The poor cadaver carried away to the morgue to be cared upon

Death might watch from the audience, but the show shall go on.

~*~

When the purest soul is stained by sin
To the public eye where can she begin?
She lost it all and it’s gone for good
And she may never beat the system
But she won’t rest until she’s turned
The villain to the victim…

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Disasterology 101: Nightmares, Catastrophes, and Tragedies

I laid down, I drank the poison
Then I passed the fuck out
Now let me tell you about the good life
I have a million different kinds of fun
When I’m asleep and in a dream
That I’m your only one…

~*~

Several times these diamonds nearly bleed to death

Complicated breathing on a midnight I won’t forget

Thousand dollar oneirist, and coffee on your tongue

A song for my darling, upon shooting stars you hung

.

An average rusted boy galvanised in strings of silver

Guitar crying between your careful calloused fingers

In lakeside eyes and shotgun hearts that bit the bullet

Dim burgundy and pastel notes splashing your palette

.

Brushstrokes of gasoline, swimming under losing holds

Shame feels like broken bones, a promise not quite cold

Leatherbound love and liquid lie of a tarnished machine

Past your desecrated mouth, your affinities of evergreen

.

Haunted homes fusing and fabric skins melting together

In miraculous eternity, reposing on a graveyard weather

Hopeless chasms I dug out deeply in my wilted backyard

Veil lacing past spinal cords, as my pallid flesh is charred

.

Oh, I may well never marry gold, your lucent sun is not for my abyssal sea

And the sable ravens perched in the courtyard do not sing nor caw for me

But as the sky revolves around horizons, and our distant footsteps scream

I can hear you vividly in hymnals of faith, and of your throes I shall dream.

~*~

If you come over tonight
We can travel through time
We can sleep on the ceiling
And creep under black lights…

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The Lost Anthem of the Damned Empire

Let the God-forsaken bastards sing!
They came like moths to a flame
You left like a house in a hurricane
The wolves are at my door
But I can see the writing on the walls
The wolves are at my door
Waiting for my empire to fall…

~*~

Oh mother, please drop the knife in your hands

I didn’t kill father’s eyes, I hope you’ll understand

It’s the voices in my head stealing hope under my bed

It’s the willingness to carry on only to be left dead

.

Please remind me to be more sorry than I am

For being nothing but a reckless little shit

If you think you can save what can’t be fixed

Why don’t you goddamn stab me with your crucifix?

.

‘Cause I’m just another soul waiting to be fed

Murder my sanity, I’m not right in my head

And when the serpents escape and contrite

It’s time to suffocate and give up the fight…

.

And the diamond in your blood is never enough

(Bite your tongue, you think you’re so clever?)

To pay for your sins and atone for the rough

(Wipe that smile off your face, motherfucker!)

And the admission that presents in middle fingers

(Bite your tongue, you think you’re the best?)

Is a flag of the beaten, fuck all this crying forever

(Fall on your knees and drop dead like the rest!)

.

When did they tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

Did you really think it will fucking leave me alone?!

(Fuck no!)

.

Claw your way from out of the dirt they dragged you in

Savour the taste of the cold poison in their rusty daggers

As you scream against the whispers of sorrowful sinning

It’s nauseatingly pathetic, how you drown yourself under

.

Swallow your desperation and choke on the profanities

There’s no excuse for this miserable shit of humanity

Rancid words and empty promises thrown down the drain

As the agony of every incident sharpens the dull pain

.

You’re fragile and broken, a sniveling useless creature

But don’t let their beliefs suffocate the mentality you have

It’s their fault if they impose, but yours if you sabotage

The only chance you get at mercy, and so help me god!

.

And do you feel the chills running down your back?

(Hear the crowds, do you think this is all over?)

The million insects piercing your spine rotting black

(Hear the crowds, this suffering will last forever!)

And do you still believe that the powerless will restart?

(Hear the crowds, do you think the guillotine won’t drop?)

Why don’t you give the fuck up, and listen to your heart!

(Bow your head down and wait for the beating to stop!)

.

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

Did you really think it will fucking leave us alone?!

(Goddamn liar!)

.

Let this be the final testament of the bastards

For the cowards and kings, marching up to gloat

Salvation proves fatal, only death shall remain

The sombre march of the anthem is a parasitic bloat

Lovers and liars, intertwined in collapsing church halls

Brick by brick, the horizon collides as everything begins to fall

A thousand cut tongues speak the truth as the holy lie

In the throne of an empire that’s built on vicious violence

Let the world of bones burn and the world of flesh die

Hell is the only truth that makes fucking sense…

.

(And let it be fucking so!)

.

Are you sick of this shit? (If you are, cut yourself!)

Are you tired of failing? (If you are, fucking die!)

Are you worn down by the tragedy? (Then why don’t kill yourself?!)

Put your hands behind your back if you’re sick of this sorry suffering! (Hear!)

.

For heaven’s sake, let’s scream about all this bullshit until our scarred wrists are fucking numb!

.

(When did the tragedy leave your bones?

This is a nightmare, you should have known

Why did you let tragedy break your bones?

When you know it won’t leave you alone…)

.

Break the walls and let this damned kingdom fall!

~*~

It’s the start of the end! Surrender the throne!
The blood on my hands covered the holes!
We’ve been surrounded by vicious cycles!
The end—and we’re truly alone!
The scars on your heart are yours to atone!
We’ve been surrounded, let ’em sing, let ’em sing!

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She Owns a Red Cadillac and I Need an Accident

(Here, have a random piss-poor excuse of a “song” that I wrote aeons ago, because why the hell not.)

~*~

I can’t imagine being anywhere else
I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don’t think words can express your beauty
It’s singing to me, how the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me…

~*~

It was the best day of our lives

Until you decided to run away

Into the highway velocity, a blood-beat wife

It’s the same old routine today

.

My bridal girl, your seatbelt’s fraying

In gasoline tears, your dress is melting

But don’t you cry too fast now

The road’s too slippery for a row

.

Hit another skid, another dancing kid

(I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m fucking tired!)

The path is twisting, I’m getting rid

(Too busy fighting, fucking watch out!)

.

You passed out again from pressing on your bruises

In silken sheets and raining scarlet roses

We’ll save you! We’ll save this

Affair, a tragedy for the intensive care unit

.

Kill me, kiss me again

With both my hands on the steering wheel

It’s more fun to die with both eyes wide shut

So don’t let me miss the thrill

.

Yellow headlights illuminate

Another fractured heart

And shattered glass against the monitor

A beat that won’t restart

.

(Crash! Crash! Cause a pileup on the intersection!

Red! Lights! Call an ambulance, fucking call 911!)

.

You passed out again from coddling your concussion

In the backseat staining sodas and cold emotions

They’ll save you! But can’t save this

Affair, a casualty for the backdoor morgue cemeteries

.

Wipe away the spit that’s fermenting on the windshield

This is the beginning of an ending of a road trip tour that failed

I’m just a pedestrian and you ran me over and out

But I got hit so hard, I lost my sense and twisted my mouth!

.

Let’s be honest, this turnpike romance was never gonna work

I guess you’re just a bad driver now and I’m the jerk…

.

(Confiscate my licence, hit the brakes now!)

.

You blacked out again and you never wanna wake up

This turbulence in California won’t have a gas station stop

I’ll save myself! I’ll save this acceleration

A passenger seat left empty come the overtaking horizon.

.

(Crash! Crash! These hearts are colliding, we’re in motion!

Red! Lights! Don’t call 911, we’re about to have fun!)

~*~

It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of
Can’t fall asleep, can’t fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night…

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