Tag Archives: trash

eye. see. you.

and your eyes

are toxic

i close my own

and see

glimpses of that

wary glint

digging daggers in

my sockets

hurting me badly

the longer

i stare, the longer

you glare

shade of the pupils

snap fibres

blinding me again—

and i miss it…

i miss dying in your

violent gaze.

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There’s Such a Word as Damnation, and I’ll be Your Role Model

Well you can hide a lot about yourself
But honey, what’re you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin
But the past ain’t through with you
‘Cause we are all a bunch of liars
Tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?
And we are all about to sell it
‘Cause it’s tragic with a capital T…

~*~

We both promised, we both promised that we’ll be dead together

And watch the showering fireworks kill the sky at the end of November

We swallowed bullets in turn, hoping to spit them into diamonds

But we laughed too hard, spilled cheap champagne, choked on garrotes

.

We didn’t want, we didn’t want to hold hands all the way to suicide

We just wanted more than an automatic answering machine before we died

I disputed the grave, lights in nave, one more nightmare for you to save

But I walked away from the mausoleum doors, leaving all that I gave

.

So would you, so would you consider therapy even for a moment

For neurotics and martyrs and vagrants thinking they’re fucking heaven-sent

And dead Mary, quite contrary, I’ll be your lifeless little boy blue

Herding my sheep towards starved wolves, as if innocence was something new

.

And you’ll chant, and I chant, na na na now’s the time for all the killjoys

To wash the blood off their broken noses and scream until they break their voice

Collecting melancholy in notes of g and eyeliner verses of the apocalypse

Bruises and lipsticks melting together into a dangerous warpaint on their cheeks

.

One more time, one more time, let me listen to the prayers of the damned

I’m just another corpse decaying on the pew, preaching for predicament demand

And you’re the pastor that opened the stained chapel windows to let me in

We’re friends of hell, and I wish you well, thank you for welcoming all of my sins.

~*~

‘Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends
And we all get together when we bury our friends
It’s been eight bitter years since I’ve been seeing your face
And you’re walking away, and I will die in this place…

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2 × 2 = Death

two times two

makes four

does no harm

but two times two

makes five

has its charm.

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Baby, You’re Dead to Me

Hip hip hooray for me, you talk to me
But would you kill me in my sleep?
Lay still like the dead from the razor to the rosary
We could lose ourselves and paint these walls in pitchfork red…

~*~

My heart is fucking crippled

And you stole my crutches

Leaving me to limp my way

Back into the house you burned

.

My soul is fucking injected

With a dose of my own medicine

Leaving me defying a lost god

As hell waits patiently for my turn

.

My body is fucking corrupted

It must be all the nails I devoured

Leaving my blood to wither

As your vampire kiss claims earn

.

My mind is fucking profane with butane

And your words intensified the taste

Leaving me revoltingly desiring for more

As you scattered the ashes in my urn.

~*~

I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take
I’m coming back from the dead
And I’ll take you home with me
I’m taking back the life you stole…

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Weightless

Make believe that I impress
That every word by design turns a head
I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because
I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough…

~*~

Right now, I think I’m alright. My orbit is spinning steadily, caught in constant motion against the gravity of greater stars, keeping me from flying away and colliding with other astral bodies. The stars I rely upon are simply breathtaking. I deign to taste their enthralling radiance, but I’m aware of the impossibility of such a foolish notion, so I simply content myself to revolving around it lightyears away, thanking it silently for keeping me in line as I admire it from afar. But sometimes, for no discernible reason, the gravity weakens, and for a moment I break and drift away, attempting to pull back to my tether, terrified that I may never be able to bring myself back to that gravity, to the only thing that’s keeping my from crashing and vanished into oblivion within a black hole, forever lost in the infinite void. Hydrogen flares in my atmosphere and almost burns me up, as I strain and strain and strain back to that star, to that planet, to my solitary source of hope and light that always falls out of reach, to no avail. Then, to my great relief, the gravity slowly returns, returns to take me back in its reassuring grasp, returns to make me feel safe, and I can breathe easy again, comforted in its halcyon force. But as I continue to spin around the star, I wonder when the day will come when I finally drift too far away, too far for the gravity to reach, too far for the star to save me, too far gone. Within me, an earthquake deepens the rift, spreading veins of crevices and cracks, making prominent, irreparable faults, my molten core’s coriolis barely holding me in. And I wonder, I do wonder, which one will win the unwinnable race, which event horizon will occur first to end me. Will I fall away or break apart?

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Life and all Its Fickle Insanities

Is there a right way for being strong?
Feels like I’m doing things all wrong
Still I’m here just holding on
Confess my heart and forgive my wrongs
Just trying to show you something more…

~*~

You’re trying to keep from going insane

Biting down on your heart to keep from crying out in pain

Walking away from the tomorrow they promised

Would be a grand illusion of borrowed pleasantries

.

If nobody loves you, maybe you deserved none

Existence won’t wait for your fickle mindless derisions

Capture the scars, display them in an album

Filled with bad memories and flickering momentum

.

People might stay for the night, but won’t build your dreams

And the sunset taking back the light is more than it seems

You’re just trying to place the bets on the better

Picking the monochromes and greys in a palette of technicolour

.

Hanging barely on the tightropes by your two fingertips

And the audience might just cheer if you happened to sneeze

If nobody takes you, then maybe you’ll take yourself

Don’t bother trying to pick diamonds out of your golden chest

.

Your fractured ribs will give way to the recalescent candle that stares

Breaking the tongues of forever until you’re naif and unaware

Fighting back the night and holding on to the twisted path of right

Dying again and again until you find that final guiding light

.

You’re just trying to keep from keeping insane

‘Cause ain’t that the way of life and its arid little games

Walking towards the today no one will ever give you

But yourself, this illusion may be grand but the escape won’t beat you.

~*~

Nobody’s gonna love you
If you can’t display a way to capture this
Nobody’s gonna hold your hand
And guide you through, it’s up for you to understand
Nobody’s gonna feel your pain
When all is done and it’s time for you to walk away
When you have today, you should say all that you have to say…

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The Devil On The Horizon

Are you sick, are you tired, and you’re feeling vain?
Your lips are turning blue
I know you wish you were dead to the world
But there’s something you should know…

~*~

A scream that cuts like the edge of a pensive

Bullets and serpents caught between your teeth

Gritting and gnashing until the pieces shatter

Drown demons under gasoline and burning water

.

You swore there was a heaven, and you let us keep it

You swore there was a hell, but you have kept it secret

Living in this filthy world of hospitals and deathbeds

Singing a little fucking louder to keep from being dead

.

Take us through woodworks, past wolves and putrid decay

Flowers for Medusa, I’ll go tell Slater in the bathroom door

Heal the hurting with rusty needles to sew the pain in half

Within a canvas of dark ink, true maven artwork soul falls

.

Trapped under circle pits, dragged under entrancing spells

We’ll join the club of antivists, our middle fingers up there

This liberation against possession, anarchists for catharsis

What’s yours is ours, and all this hatred could go get pissed

.

The jaded beep of the tiring monitor may never feel your heart

But this mind feels each beat of your raging pulse steadily restart

Sempiternal like the horizon, and you’d better fucking believe it

You’ll scream for the damned and the broken, yeah, that’s the spirit.

~*~

You’re scared, I can see you tremble
Shaking like a dog, shitting razor blades
Feel the shadows like a stranger
Well, join the club, yeah, join the club
Do you think you’re the only one who feels the way you do?
We’re all fifty shades of fucked up…

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narcolepsy

how can one

go to sleep

if they were

never truly

a w a k e ?

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Severing Heartstrings

I’m a ghost in your eyes
A shadow you can’t seem to recognise
I have a thought of you for every, star in the sky
But I’m scared, I’ll never cross your mind…

~*~

Lusted contrivances hold a harangued heart

The chaos of the slow moment is lost in the depart

Further regressing, counting ocean shore waves

Falling into the demesnes of a shadow I can’t save

Where the houses are burned to build a bonfire

And the dissemination is nothing but a pipe desire

What can be wrong with the things one can’t expect?

And what does this heedless vitriol bring to that next?

The sharpest tools have rusted away into desperation

Until one can no longer cut away those strings of infection

Finding museum peace over the turnstiles of amusement

This heart may be heavy but the weight can circumvent.

~*~

Will our stars ever align?
Will two hearts, beat in time?
These words you should always remember
To you, my heart I surrender…

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me, myself, and i

I wish it could be social commentary

But this is just a shallow me, me, me

Craving to care past my egocentricity

But I’m devoured by a pathetic misery

I wish I would stop all the maundering

When no sane ear wants to be listening

In the end, narcissistic throes are all lost

To self-hatred; such irony hurts the most.

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Filed under Poetry