Tag Archives: trigger

boy with the bullets (smith & wesson)

It’s not fair when you say that I didn’t try
I just don’t want to hear it anymore
I swear I never meant to let it die
I just don’t care about you anymore…

~*~

you’ve been nothing but good to me

and yet i treat you with feral viciousness

spitting sharp razors down your back

and taking a .45 to your bruised throat

like you deserved any of it at all,

but you don’t. if anything, i am the one

who needs to be put down, for all the

crimes i’ve committed against you,

for every inflicted pain and malicious insult,

for every tactless word that travels from

my mouth and straight to your lungs, making

you lose your breath’s momentum again;

for everything i did to you and everything i didn’t…

you deserve to pull the fucking t r i g g e r

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multiverse

Remember me, she whispered
Heaven’s so far out of reach, and keep me close
Like a moment you’re afraid to leave
So now this is how it feels when you’re all alone
This is how it feels when your heart starts racing
You can ask but you’ll never know
The way it feels, the way it feels…

~*~

we’re not in the same universe anymore

and our tears flow in different states—

almost as that of plasma and gravity,

perhaps identical, but not at all the same.

the nostalgia creeps up like bated breaths

dead into the silence in the middle of the night

and it stays to suffocate the humid air—

and it stays to suffocate the insomniac mind.

there’s some form of sophisticated equanimity

that was achieved by neither of our farewells,

because the end was approaching at breakneck speed

and there simply wasn’t any time to be more polite

cutting out crass with guns we left in each other’s mouths

hoping the trigger doesn’t get pulled with our fingers

like issues, contorted into funny shapes that don’t make sense

breaking off has never been so easy as a lacklustre smile

but the stars never forgive, even when they forget

and the light from the horizon flickers indistinguishably

forming a supernova of your voice, faint though almost palpable

branded like indelible ink stains on the canvas of my brain.

this reverberating staccato, this thoughtless caprice, this infinite lethargy…

it never ceases to write cold epistles even when i am fast asleep.

oftentimes, i look into the other dimension of that cracked mirror

into the faceless impostor, the version of me that existed

before you killed it off, and before i killed you off in my plane,

and wish to the efflorescing quarks that you’re feeling the same way.

~*~

Lost and terrible, hollow in ways you’ll never know
If it’s all in my head, all in my head
It’s heavier now than it’s ever been, so fake a memory
Keeping me quiet underneath
And if this is the end, if this is the end
Destroy everything and make it new again…

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Don’t Turn The Tables Sweetheart, You’re Gonna Dizzy Yourself Sick

Well, she’s not bleeding on the ballroom floor
Just for the attention, ‘cause that’s just ridiculously odd
Well, she sure is going to get it, here’s the setting
Fashion magazines line the walls now, the walls line the bullet holes
Have some composure and where is your posture? Oh, no, no!
You’re pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong…

~*~

You act like you’ve got a pretty laugh stuck in your ragged throat

Proud of the way you dirty your skin, proud of the way you gloat

About the veins, they’re just veins, they’re just another empty sea

I don’t want to swim, I don’t want to sink, I don’t want to censor me

.

Can you see the way I twist my hair into a noose that I’ll never hang?

Well the knots have hurt my fingers and for a moment my hands stung

All this beauty left to be romantic about, but sometimes nature is a bore

The bayside’s wayside in screaming trees, sometimes nature is a whore

.

When we did it, it was funny, it was temporary, it was just a tragedy

Coming from the cheap seats and you clapped for the longest irony

Now it’s your turn, it’s not funny, it’s forever, it’s a bruised symphony

We paid the balcony scene just to watch a charcoal sob for a penny

.

And your lips spill with attention and gush that you don’t want any

Paint the crooked crucifix on your pallid cheeks with bitter and honey

Now all the hypocrites adore you, blood-type A of sycophantic rude

Play a victim with a rifle to their shoulders, act as if it’s how you should

.

Now the trigger smiles so happy, does that bullet taste like sweet candy?

Do the fucking polaroids show off the best sides of your broken inhumanity?

Make us sorry that this reality didn’t fit your peach-twill dress and sanity

Was it your idea to put the slit in your throat so you can pretend that it’s originality?

~*~

Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention!
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say shotgun, you say wedding: shotgun, wedding, shotgun, wedding!
She didn’t choose this role, but she’ll play it and make it sincere
So you cry, you cry (give me a break) but they believe it from the tears
And the teeth right down to the blood at her feet…

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The Blondes Are (Not) Alright

Blew motivation I had
To make my still beating-something
Not hurt that bad
Haven’t been home in some months
I haven’t loved myself
Just watching friends online
Look like they need some help…

~*~

I brought a knife to a shootout

But I’m not looking for a fistfight

I don’t mean to get too bloody

I just wanted to feel a little alright

.

But it’s difficult to make amends

When you’re holding the trigger

And kiss the muzzle to my mouth

Before I plead for it to get better

.

Bang bang bang, do you feel it yet?

Don’t drop that dime to take a bet

If I die now on the pavement curb

I’ll try not to bleed out on your shirt

.

I brought awkward to the limelight

I hear it’s the latest fashion show

I don’t mean to flaunt my mistakes

I just wanted everyone to know

.

That it’s hard to feel sorry

When you’re feeling sorry for yourself

They said I’m being crazy

Like condescencion’s good for my health

.

Clap clap clap, do you feel regret?

Hold on to plastic, it’s not over yet

I’ve got about three more acts to go

And the script makes to take it slow

.

I brought a friend to a death match

Just to see who’ll take the first move

I don’t mean to make it too chaotic

Just seeing if you would if you could

.

I never ask about the when, what, or why

I’ve been standing here thinking all was fine

But then the situation changed to see you

Spitting comments on the shoes I just shined

.

Blah blah blah, will you ready get set?

You’re the best nothing I’ve ever met

Too cool for the beatdown that ensues

Tie my hands to the bomb, I had no clue

.

I brought sobriety to the late pub nights

And they all told me to get the hell out

You brought the glass to my lips again

And drowned me in self-sustaining doubt

.

We can laugh about all the memories we hate

Including how this one has an expiration date

Looks like you want some help, damn, just ask

Don’t keep it in and blame other lies in the past

.

No no no, I didn’t mean to be thinking this loud

I gave you privacy when you told me to fuck off

I guess I’m done with fun, and I’m done, it’s true

But don’t worry honey, at least it’s all about you.

~*~

I never wanted to be thinking this loud
I never asked about the when, why or how
I wanted privacy, routine and everything between
While they’re just finding me out
I never wanted to be thinking this loud…

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triggers in traffic lights

I’ve been drinking while I’m driving down the highway
Haven’t blinked in like a minute, yeah it’s quite strange
I’ve been thinking ’bout all of the things
I might say or might do to you…

~*~

body like a car crash

i’m driving too fast

trying to get rid of

the devil riding on

my fucking shoulder

telling me don’t stop

.

i can’t blink anymore

they took away my view

and my hands are shaking

on the steering wheel as

i tear down the highways

chasing up atlantic to hell

.

but once i pull the trigger

and hit you with my bullet

i’ll fight in drunken sunsets

until i hear you admit all of it

and when you do, i’ll let it go

i’ll take my hold off the brake

and we’ll careen out of control

bodies colliding on the high road.

~*~

Telling you I won’t slow down
Won’t slow down

Girl you gotta know right now
There’s no way out
Imma pull the trigger off, and imma let
These bullets talk…

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metal & skin (xxxi.)

i’m thinking

about these

things again

just when i

thought that i

stopped giving in.

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You Better Get The Door

Wash away these memories, silent and proud
Blood won’t confirm on these curtains
Your blood, my hands, your blood, my fucking hands
Run for the hills, your strength, from the dead afar…

~*~

A moment of delusion, celestial superfusion

Wander, demand her, a second of confusion

Seven to heaven when I find the intersection

Logistics and statistics that I failed to mention

.

Broken and unspoken, for the days I set unnumbered

We’ll plan this sheer madness until we’re torn asunder

Mayday don’t you say a thing, now don’t you maunder

Relay and decay me, the taste of suffering feels blander

.

Sorry, you know me, a crack away from the brick bracs

Gave me what you saved me, and the senses that I lack

Then we’ll set up for the kill, the trigger’s left unlocked

If I leave my morals ajar, maybe someone else will knock.

~*~

Run for the hills, your strength from luck
Cut this off, and if you think you’re alive,
Then you’re better off fucking dead!

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metal & skin (xxi.)

it’s

fucking

good

to

be

back.

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blood.letter.

those words

felt as if

they were

cutting into

me themselves…

so just what

is the better

difference

if i b l e e d ?

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The Decapitated Queen of La Brea and the Boy of her Nightmares (Hail, Suicide!)

I said, we’ll drown ourselves in misery tonight
White lies, you’ve worn out all your dancing shoes this time
Just give us war-worn lipstick, blood, and purifying flame
These eyes have had too much to drink again tonight
Black skies, we’ll douse ourselves in high explosive light
Just give us war-worn, I’ve been calling you all week for my shotgun!

~*~

I love your lips, and the way they bleed

Like dying throes of cold water orchids

Drive my heart like a spike in the ground

Along with the dead, it’ll be safe and sound

.

And the moon tears the marrow of our bones

And the teeth in our necks are razor stones

So take me to a church, and get me a doctor

The coursing venom won’t last any longer

.

I wear my pills on a bloodstained sleeve

If there’s a heaven waiting, I don’t believe

You hid a revolver gun on my ancient bible

Lock and load, the scripture spells out trouble

.

And the mark of the serpent is burning me

Nazareth is damned, call me Black Mary

Carve the tattoo for the switchblade saints

Die by the cross of the apparition’s taint

.

The séance under the spotlight is holding on

Bang bang! Goes the monitor, he’s fucking gone!

Emergency alert, the red lights flash and spin

This institutional madness is fucking caving in!

.

Horror in my decayed lungs, glass in my falling nails

Banging against the coffin door rhythmic, hail, hail!

Bathe me in the arcane fires of an everlasting hell

And pray to the hurricane rain for another dry spell

.

Oh baby, the sun won’t be purified by your lipgloss

But if you tried to save us, it’s a threatening cause

Beat me fucked and correct the date on my grave

Tonight we’ll be insufferable, disgusted at the nave

.

I’m damned and broken, the saviour of the anthem

Decimating heroes with lobotomies and brain stems

This is a wedding party, bridegroom toasting cyanide

Marry to the end of the health and your death, I lied

.

And if they think you’ll be holding (they thought wrong)

Pick up the signs, make up your mind (you ain’t so gorgeous now)

You may be in exile, but don’t forget to smile (shine the light)

Drop the guns and have some fun, we’re stuck here a while (shit!)

.

So hear me out, my divine angel, dear graceless and corpse-fair

The blood’s drying in my mourning Sunday clothes I shall never wear

But the way my hands are shaking, I will never have a clean shot

So just hold it as tight as you can, and pull the trigger with all you’ve got.

~*~

Pick up the phone! Pick up the phone, fucker
I wanna see what your insides look like
(I wanna see what your insides look like)

I bet you’re not fucking pretty on the inside (not so pretty)
I wanna see what your insides look like (not so pretty baby)
I wanna see ’em (not so)…

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