Tag Archives: trip

Dissimilitude

Obscure thoughts
And manic visuals
The king of deception’s
Repulsive ritual…

~*~

I am unable to mend myself anymore

Instead closer to discomfort, adoring the

.

Minor slip-ups that further slip me away

Into a state of feeling infinite nothing

.

Because my ribs are starting to close in

And propane seeps into the bones of the aether

.

I find myself struggling to reach out beyond

False epiphanies and this cultist chase

.

Just to seek out disproportionate happiness

For what else is there left to trip on?

~*~

A throne of dissimulation
And disfigurement
King of deception, hell sent
A thirst for corruption…

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A Summer In Saturday

A van packed with people

For a road trip in the dark

Spiraling with laughter and

Going around missing marks

.

Excursions set to weird luck

Trying to chase away the heat

And the languor creeping in

Won’t let this vacation be beat

.

Kicked up sand on gritty feet

Sudden blackouts set the scene

Chill as water, lips taste salty

Splash and splutter, call it mean

.

Kill the calm and the crowd

Noise on stereo, sodium glitter

Keep the stars and insanity

Smile for a picture underwater

.

Impulsive plans laid to stake

But we’ll keep faith under the moon

Home’s still a distant memory

And morning cannot come too soon

.

For a weekend settling tempers

A quick ocean swim to cool it down

Before the sun turns to shadows

And chaotic daylight comes around.

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Outbalanced

What are they saying, I’m not raw?
What the fuck you take me for?
All the sudden you hear what
I’ve said a hundred ways before?
I been pushed, I been trapped
Drug myself through hell and back…

~*~

The euphony and the madness

Calling out to the sane and the sadness

Conjuring up emotions I forgot I had

And when I have it, I have it bad

.

I don’t want to be down at all

But I don’t think can’t hear you now

As it doesn’t take much to drag me under

I want to be far away from forever

.

I just can’t figure it out, figure it out

I’m counting on things added by a zero

Pretending there’s a cause to be had

Pretending like I’ll be the next fucking hero

.

Because here I was, thinking I’m okay

But when the worst gets bad, I don’t want to stay

Here I am still hoping not to run out of space

But the chase got me tripping all in the wrong place

.

I’ll compose myself when time stops again

Black out all the memories with bitter novocaine

I’ll try to stay sober as I numb out the relapse

Keep the light off my eyes until this overthinking stops.

~*~

Sometimes, sometimes you don’t say goodbye once
You say goodbye over and over and over again
Over and over and over again…

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here for nothing

Watching as the fire starts
I could be here all night
Never really wanted much
Only ever asked for flight
It could be you…

~*~

i have

no desire

to read

into your

messy mind

as if there

was anything

i would find

taking turns

at insults

like our

hurtful words

don’t mean

a thing

like it was

just another

bee sting

i’ll be okay

i have gravity

to keep my

heart right

where it

should be

but your ribs

are broken

and ransacked

yet don’t you

even see?

i have no

intention to

watch as you

trip again over

your own

callous tongue

but i have

to admit, it’s

actually

kind of fun.

~*~

And I could be fire
And I could be rain
And I could be caught in
Everything that’s in between…

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Know Thyself

I’m calling you from the future
To let you know we made a mistake
And there’s a fog from the past
That’s giving me, giving me such a headache
And I’m back with a madness…

~*~

When I reevaluate myself

Where do I start to draw the line

Between the beginning and the change

Down my brain or with my spine?

.

When did my hands start shifting

To change pure gold into black rust

And lucidity became obstinate

Covering the mirrors with cold dust?

.

What place was my starting line

And when did I stumble and trip?

Did I get to the checkered finish

Or trampled by my opponents’ feet?

.

Why did my pen become cynical

And my heart run out of honest ink

How did my eyes fail to see the picture

When did my mind cease to think?

.

Have I truly changed for the better

Or did I just become a stranger shape

From fitting out of the cramped box

Because I wished for a little more space?

.

Did I drift away from my audience

As their applause started to sound the same

Was I meant for a moment in spotlights

Or was I meant to hide away my own name?

.

Were these lines on my face here before

Or the lines on my arms and thighs?

And the lines I once thought avant-garde

Are they now nothing but banal lies?

.

And why did my tongue get longer

But the accuracy in their wings clipped

Confusion may soar abound the sky

But my heavy body refuses to lift

.

Regrets and problems, I once could carry

Have broken my back and my will to be

The things I loved, reduced to wistful smiles

Memories once happy turned sorry

.

I wish I didn’t sulk and drain myself

Turn off the lights just to be haunted by ghosts

I fucking wish I didn’t have to be so insecure

To let emotions linger like a gracious host

.

Sometimes I think I really know myself

Until everyone says the complete opposite

And everything I do turns upsidedown

I become less uncertain of my purposeful visit

.

Just who was I? Or rather, just who am I now?

When I reassess, all I do is think and rethink again

It hurts my head, and I’ll just start to lose myself

Better to keep the present than to bury myself in past skins.

~*~

I got rage every day, on the inside
The only thing I do is sit around and kill time
I’m trying to blow out the pilot light
I’m trying to blow out the light
I’m just young enough to still believe, still believe
But young enough not to know what to believe in…

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in context

never say anything

if you do not know

the full context of

what was going on

because otherwise

you’re only being

a fool and tripping

on your own tongue.

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rollercoaster

the ride was too turbulent

and we both tumbled off

tripped against our tongues

in adrenaline and acerbic scoffs

we fell when it got too steep

and refused to climb the blame

why don’t we try to fix our scrapes

instead of just picking at them?

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Funambulist

My dear funambulist

Now traipse, don’t trip

The ropes are wornout

Before we could meet

My dear funambulist

Be careful with steps

The height is greater

Than the shaky rest

My dear funambulist

Your walks be wary

No shudder, stumble

Balance you’ll carry

My dear funambulist

From that other side

We knew we couldn’t

Why did we even try?

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sugar me bitter, bitter you sweet

It started again, claiming a friend
I couldn’t be, I’ve never been
I’m all alone out in the cold
I’ll never know, your sugarcoat…

~*~

the thousand apologies

i left past your bedroom

but do they really mean

nothing at all, for you?

those tiptoes in soaked

socks and hushed laughs

were they just tolerances

you never want to pursue?

confusions and delusions

of the deluded convolution

but was that all i really set

myself up to run and trip?

for all those wrongs i know

and the mistakes i will grow

will you never be the mouth

that distinctly explains it?

~*~

Look what you did
Suck on your lies ’til your eyes turn red
What did you say
Willing to drown in a tidal wave
Take me away
Let me believe that you’re on your way…

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She Owns a Red Cadillac and I Need an Accident

(Here, have a random piss-poor excuse of a “song” that I wrote aeons ago, because why the hell not.)

~*~

I can’t imagine being anywhere else
I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don’t think words can express your beauty
It’s singing to me, how the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me…

~*~

It was the best day of our lives

Until you decided to run away

Into the highway velocity, a blood-beat wife

It’s the same old routine today

.

My bridal girl, your seatbelt’s fraying

In gasoline tears, your dress is melting

But don’t you cry too fast now

The road’s too slippery for a row

.

Hit another skid, another dancing kid

(I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m fucking tired!)

The path is twisting, I’m getting rid

(Too busy fighting, fucking watch out!)

.

You passed out again from pressing on your bruises

In silken sheets and raining scarlet roses

We’ll save you! We’ll save this

Affair, a tragedy for the intensive care unit

.

Kill me, kiss me again

With both my hands on the steering wheel

It’s more fun to die with both eyes wide shut

So don’t let me miss the thrill

.

Yellow headlights illuminate

Another fractured heart

And shattered glass against the monitor

A beat that won’t restart

.

(Crash! Crash! Cause a pileup on the intersection!

Red! Lights! Call an ambulance, fucking call 911!)

.

You passed out again from coddling your concussion

In the backseat staining sodas and cold emotions

They’ll save you! But can’t save this

Affair, a casualty for the backdoor morgue cemeteries

.

Wipe away the spit that’s fermenting on the windshield

This is the beginning of an ending of a road trip tour that failed

I’m just a pedestrian and you ran me over and out

But I got hit so hard, I lost my sense and twisted my mouth!

.

Let’s be honest, this turnpike romance was never gonna work

I guess you’re just a bad driver now and I’m the jerk…

.

(Confiscate my licence, hit the brakes now!)

.

You blacked out again and you never wanna wake up

This turbulence in California won’t have a gas station stop

I’ll save myself! I’ll save this acceleration

A passenger seat left empty come the overtaking horizon.

.

(Crash! Crash! These hearts are colliding, we’re in motion!

Red! Lights! Don’t call 911, we’re about to have fun!)

~*~

It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of
Can’t fall asleep, can’t fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night…

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