Tag Archives: vice

blood and whiskey

sin after sin

vice after vice

piling them all in

i’m done playing nice

underhanded pains

underage drinking

do i give a fuck

i’m slowly sinking?

being sober is too taxing

feeling is such a drag

overthinking is caustic

my heart is making me gag

bitter tastes good

and wrong feels right

let’s screw up my system

one by one tonight

one for flesh, mutilated

two for kidney, bathed in salt

three for liver, fried away

four for system, sleep default

five for the soul i thought

i could finally save then

but i revert into misery

again and again and again

where’s the harm

in a little indulgence

when all life’s given you

is bullshit and nonsense?

don’t know what i’m doing

i don’t want to even mind

all i care about is transgressions

and i’m falling behind

so numb i couldn’t even feel

the sound of my voice

and i laugh without smiling

a horrible fucking noise

trying to forget the mistakes

that i tallied in crimson

i’m cutting my pain in half

taking advice from king solomon

because innocence is fragile

and soon it will goddamn shatter

until your regretful stupidity

is all that even matters

sin after sin, vice after vice

it gets better they say, but fuck, it’s all lies

and i’m only trying to have some fun

in a hellhole of an existence that offers me none.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Opioid Daydreams and Narcotic Nightmares

Maybe I could swim into your thoughts like your drugs do
Paralyze your body, sick and tired of waking up too
Burning eyes and cigarettes, I’m falling through the couch like
A suicide mission tonight, my god, here comes the downside…

~*~

The fumes I breathed in

Are as delicate as my polluted lungs

As frail as my state of mind

.

I look for a way into the dark

And step on cigarette ashes

Unaware of the inferno I might find

.

Crushing acetylene with two fingers

And heating the water a hundred degrees

To boil away this senseless rut

.

Inhaling, exhaling, once…twice…thrice…

And one more drag for the long run

Calm until the first punch hits my guts

.

My throbbing heart goes a’creeping

Into my trembling hands comes a’knocking

Painting butterfly psychedelia

.

I’m waiting at the foot of my deathbed

Staring at my lethargic lucid corpse

Tasting a million shades of phantasmic deliria

.

Anesthesised until I no longer feel myself

I no longer feel my broken bones

I no longer feel the pain like the ashes

.

Blowflies turned to pretty birds

Concrete floor turned to rainbows and raindrops

Until paradise wears off and slowly passes

.

But despite the exclamation points

Scribbled all over the blank walls, I won’t

No no no no no, I won’t ever ever panic

.

The blood and oxygen flow

Falling and reversing until my system

Is senescent retrograde and manic

.

And I’m hanging upside-down

On a cross, crucified by my lighter

Flesh pinned with syringes

.

Scourged and castigated

By angels and roman hallucinations

For my sins and perpetual binges

.

But I won’t die tonight, no I won’t

I won’t die yet…die yet, I think

And I’ll exalt those whorls of smoke

.

Submerged in a tempestuous sea of euphoria

Until I sink deeper and deeper into the hazy currents

And I begin to choke.

~*~

Trigger my nightmare once again!
And it’s fucking loaded in hand!
And we’ll let the fire rage
The smoke and the drowning flames
My bedroom computer light is the only
Menace to my new faux wooden blinds…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Dear Medication

I got a year’s supply of capsules
I got a bottle full of friends
They’re always right around
To come show me the town
Delivered through a filtered lens…

~*~

My stomach all tied up in specular knots

As I hide behind abandoned parking lots

Bite down on the bittersweet medication

To unravel the noose and become human

.

Tribulations raring to return some control

Damaged sprockets needing factory recall

Offset chemicals slick as oil quietly leaking

Inside a system that requires dire repairing

.

A dose for breathing, one more for demons

Counterfeiting volition that I can’t summon

Blank and washed-out, it’s better not to feel

Losing doubts in a bottle, tasting acidic will

.

Cold cuts numbed and a pressed-down mind

Wonderland candy leaving me severely high

Living or existing in bouts of prognostication

A coronary slow motion, lost in convocations

.

A corrupting hold to sanity of a harmless little kill

Vices forgotten, bleeding tongue against chalk pill

Incriminate not the release of the sterile pharmacy

Rather, blame me for attempting to induce humanity.

~*~

Chemical angel
Comfort I crave
Don’t come around no more
I’m already saved…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Note To Send In The Sun

It’s hard to be living, you gotta play the cards you were given
You think it’s simple but it goddamn isn’t
It’s tougher now than breaking out of Shawshank prison
And as you’re hitting your prime
People say you been committing a crime
But I won’t quit till I’m home
I’ll chip the limestone a bit at a time…

~*~

I’m rigid and frigid, yet bespoke

Speaking of sharp tongues that limit

Themselves to asking “what is it?”

As the audience applauds the cynics

And sits in mentalities of finick

Spin it, another losing tale to uphold

The tongues of silver and hearts of gold

If my failed memory was distantly bold

Then why is the thought of you so cold?

Sold, the paintings I hid in the cellar

Buying my heart for a million dollars

Clashing in shades of blue and white collars

Eyes that could never appreciate the colours

Call her, the girl with piercings in her skin

And her tattoos that tally her sin from within

To keep the demons from gladly releasing medicine

She was injecting just so she could stay breathing

Was she so wrong to want to continue living?

And if living is a vice, then I don’t have to play nice

And keep on hanging to surprise just so I could receive their lies

For this world is not a masterpiece of peace waiting patiently on the shelf

Rather, it’s an empty canvas depicting ruin for the better

An accurate self-portrait of oneself.

~*~

Shit in storage, living from a suitcase
Thinking “this is how a silver spoon tastes?”
Cause you can make a dream possible
But it’ll never be easy, no matter what you chase…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

The Boy with a Cold Star and a Dry Pen

Vices which I taste with every splinter of your desire

I may be dramatic but you’re responsible for my fire

Cold I feel, you’re out of kerosene and I want a jacket

Flair of selfishness as we collide and forget our regret

Underwater as we sing, romantic sirens under the sky

Eternity can wait, our severed hearts ain’t ready to die

Never did I find tempting so fucking sweet and alluring

The misadventures we have, I stow away in reminiscing

Every flaw, scar, and piercing, your criminal soul I adore

Save me darling, how I wish the stars will bring you more.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

re-drown

we have wound back

to where we all started

zero degrees farenheit

the rain slashes torrents

of the heartbeats that slow

and the blood that boils

into the misdemeanour, as

unforgivable as my vice

.

we have drawn back

to where it all started

a hundred degrees celsius

the circles tracing our steps

of the nerves screaming agony

from the blood that thins into

an unescapable ocean wave

and if there was any way out

let me learn how to swim.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry