Tag Archives: violet

Colourblind Memory

And when I see you
I really see you upside-down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around
If you feel discouraged
That there’s a lack of color here…

~*~

It was an easy kind of self-destruction; the one I never had to beg for.

After a few nights of staying awake and listening to cheaply-constructed songs on the static radio, I was already haunted. Copper chain links that stabbed at the fictional horizon and left unstitched scars on the exposed wind. Shy vespertine flowers that bloomed in the most coruscant spectrums, but only when no weeping eye was there to witness their exquisite grandeur and compose concerto symphonies about it. An infinite, arrogant, wakeless kind of blue that rivaled every transatlantic and pacific direction that I chased; but, unlike the oceans of this planet so drenched and cold and jaded to the bone, no one is ever able to cross it, and no one ever will.

And violet. A damnable shade, akin to roses-not-reds and forget-me-nots, that violet. A bleeding, dirty kind of violet that left filthy, undecipherable Roschach stains everywhere. Splattering the bruises of my halted tongue, shading the asphyxiation of my untouched lips, violently overtaking the rock-steady sorry secret that was divulged and diluted all too late. It painted a tragedy that only the most damaged and paranoid artists could understand, and rending shreds of the purest agony down my colliding ribs that not even the most genius maestros and starving dilettantes could begin to dissect; for it was a foreign anatomy. A different unknown. A beyond the beyond. It was brutally twisted inside my veins and gauchely discarded somewhere in between sense and sanctuary, photographed and arrested in another postcard vintage lie. I could write graphite letters at the back all I want, but I’ll never swim away from the indigo waves in front. It was our holiday memory, drowning me again and again and again.

Absolutely useless. It couldn’t aid my breathing. It couldn’t save my sleeping. It was a disease that was highly susceptible only to my atrophied words and comatosed syllogisms—the same unfortunate ones that are now leaving my chafed fingers but never my wornout mind, like you, like you, like you.

Unrelenting. Unsuspending. Unending.

All my colours were inverted. And no one can turn it back the right way.

If there even was one.

~*~

Please don’t worry, lover
It’s really bursting at the seams
For absorbing everything
The spectrum’s A to Z
This is fact, not fiction
For the first time in years…

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Filed under Prose

emergency, emergency!!

“Feeling so alone now, funny how you wish
Some way that you’ll die at the hospital…”

~*~

hospital red

violet tears crying

the lights are too bright

they say that i’m dying

.

transfusion red

violet bruises sighing

darkness overtakes me

i don’t want to keep on waking.

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Filed under Poetry

Mood Rings

I never have to carefully shape sentences
When I’ve got some words to say
They’re falling from my mouth from the time
That they hit my brain
‘Cause we built a picture made for frames
We live in chemistry away from all the wasted time and taste…

~*~

There’s a reason why I like the pink in your mood

My words hit the ground, but you catch them so we’re good

If time’s running out for me, I’ll be sure to take it slow

I may be high on conflict but on your sights I’m low

.

The amount of space between my smile and eyes are closing in

But frustration and disappearing sense is not a problem

Because if you laugh, then I laugh, and if you cry, then I die

The city’s a slow waltz into the colourful cocktails we have to try

.

I may speak my mind but I talk with my heart

And it only takes one skipping beat to know where to start

I keep falling for everything that wants nothing to do with me

But I’ll keep trying until the blondes stop being pretty

.

I change so quickly, I don’t even know what to think

And your face goes from soft violet to vivid blush like a 90’s trick

I’m the rain that you chase, you’re the lone cloud in May

Our weather’s too erratic and unstable, but I adore it anyway

.

So don’t get me wrong, your fingers may be pointing

But I’ll take them in my hand and yell bang, the bullet’s flying

You’re troubled by the clothes you wear, confused looks good on you

It accentuates the glow in your halo, but you never had a clue

.

I’m asking all the wrong questions, but you still answer them right

And I’m hoping to the moon that you’ll answer the most important one tonight

I’m dirty red, you’re canary yellow, let’s collide together and be orange fire

A hurricane’s sleeping in my bedroom, can I stay over? We can dream until we’re tired.

~*~

My mood’s dictated by our conversations
And if you don’t text I get too frustrated
I want you all to myself this time, t-t-time
Conflicted looks good on me, I’m trying desperately
I want you all to myself this time, t-t-time…

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Filed under Poetry

Shrinking Summer Violets

I don’t think I shall regret

Missing out on such “fun”

I find it more captivating

To be left than suffer sun

You’ll have your holidays

On ocean and sandiness

I’ll have mine in isolation

Of eremite empty houses

I’m but a mere periwinkle

Flourishing with darkness

I thrive in rhapsodic woes

Under films of dusty webs

Foolish or magnanimous

Peculiar or lonesome true

A sabbatical from frantic

You’ll be gone, I won’t rue

Despite begrudging teeth

And behind closed doors

I have a calm delectation

Quailed by literary scores

Basking in bijou quietude

A shrinking violet I’ll heed

Mayhap such an interlude

Is what this lone soul needs.

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Filed under Poetry

My Viole[n]t Valentine

The amount of pills I’m taking
Counteracts the booze I’m drinking
And this vanity I’m breaking
Lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay
With the words you say…

~*~

Pretty lavender plushes

Periwinkle cheek blushes

My Violet’s love, it hangs

In purple poison tongues

.

Her flowy heather dress

And deep magenta tress

Amethyst jewels so nice

Bloodshot sangria eyes

.

Just achieve this goal

And pull fast the trigger

To make the black hole

In my empty head bigger

.

True, I’m airheaded, yes

But I didn’t ever reckon

That it meant a skull less

And grey smoke in cranium

.

The lump in my throat

Growing with my hate

Is harder to swallow than

The titanium bullet I ate

.

Violet, what’s my sin?

Don’t remember the wine?

Or your iris-soft skin?

Or the mulberry skyline?

.

Or the plum bruises you got

From when we badly fought?

Or the sweet grape lipstick

That left me dazed, tricked?

.

I chewed up razor blades

Because it had hurt less

Than your kiss, as it fades

Leaving me in a bad mess

.

The rusty blood that I spat

Brighter than fresh crimson

Scarlet rose petals they sat

Thorns stuck in malediction

.

Your sweetest lilac scent

Hellish love so heaven-sent

You said we could both soar

Our mauve hearts feel sore

.

Now my hangman’s cradle

Is the only thing that’s able

Now to make me fly so high

Oxygen inhale but a bad lie

.

Though that wouldn’t compare

Violet, to the lack of breath I felt

When you said, so vividly purple

For me to go away and drop dead…

.

…Okay.

.

Violet, my love, you got off simply fine

Your dark wish was granted this time

Now won’t you care to also grant mine

And be my lovely violent valentine?

~*~

Well I’ll choose the life I’ve taken
Never mind the friends I’m making
and the beauty that I’m faking
Lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay
With the words you say
Oh baby let me in, oh baby let me in…

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Filed under Poetry