Tag Archives: wait

Febfair

Pondering all alone

Sitting with cold grass

Between curled fingers

And unfinished coffee

Making lips quite sticky

My unplugged earphones

Afraid to make sounds

.

Myriad stands flickering

With flashes of neon colours

Selling dresses and candy

And music and rowdy revelry

But just tell me, Mr. Vendor

Please, where can I buy

Someone to walk with tonight?

.

The crowds passing by

Friends, family, familiarity

Cheering, laughing, enjoying

When there is none for me

Surrounded by old strangers

White noise for humming ears

White noise for sad eyes

White noise in my tired mind

.

From thinking about eternities

Until there is nothing but space

Lost and loved and lost again

An unsent greeting hovering

Anxiety creeping and crawling

As I patiently wait for a person

Who doesn’t even exist at all.

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Inquiries

You can’t just ask me where I’m headed

And then afterwards, not give a damn

Drop a little postscript for confusion

And not send the rest of the telegram

You can’t just say hello after goodbye

And expect me to still be waiting there

At the very least, have the nerve to tell me

That you just don’t really care.

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Rebound

Too much animosity
Nobody does it better than the enemy
A hope like yours won’t help me now
You can do your worst to me
At the end of the day, that’s what you do best…

~*~

Call me only when your mind is fucked

Say “I love you” and I won’t say it back

Keep your hands to yourself, take it slow

Your orphan eyes won’t be my deathblow

.

Call me only when your eyes are red as day

Still high from crying, smoke the pain away

Knock on my door for three weeks straight

Be a sidewalk stray, love, know I won’t wait

.

Call me only when you need someone else

To be your plastic pleasure, I wish you well

Kill yourself drunk to crave yourself sober

I’ll only really be here to tell you it’s all over.

~*~

I wasn’t enough
You bled me dry, which way is up?
Oh, you’re a lie, and fake
I hope the truth is not too late
That’s what you do best!

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why are you like that

i say that it’s

unreasonable

and yet i keep

seeing reasons

to be foolishly

drawn to this

chaos—a moth

recklessly flitting

against the sun

your ardent rays

have burned a

hole through my

common sense

and i can’t patch

it up with all this

tedious poetry, nor

careless ire, nor

all of the nihilistic

promises i lie to

of patiently waiting

of finding something

all before dying out

and falling off to nothing

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The Weight

I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down…

~*~

There’s no god

In a meaning

And no meaning

In any god

I’ll amount it to

Nothing more

Than a bad night

And some drunken

Conversations

Because it’s not

Possible, when we

Barely even exist in the

Same terrafirma

Lifted tiptoes

All ready for takeoff

Never really knew

How scary the ground

Was, until you were

Up high and just

Out of reach;

Mistakes disguised

As adrenaline, and

The taste of someone

Else’s expired medicine

It doesn’t feel good

I’m not doing so good

Waiting, regressing,

Our time’s coming

Crashing down

Don’t lose hold

Here it goes—

And then…what?

And then, nothing.

But maybe, just maybe,

Something else.

~*~

Boy, you’re going to carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time…

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tasteless skittles

how is your voice so incredibly exquisite?

i wish i could keep it—i wish i could keep it all for myself but i know that’s just a dumb dollar-store daydream now. i swear i’m not senselessly selfish but i couldn’t help all these hysterical feelings, fleeting and fumbled, collapsing and careening, swelling and spilling beyond my exhausted arms but i’m not tired of you yet; though every unsolved puzzle piece i propose to pick out is so pleasantly problematic.

you’re so weird, but i like that.

maybe it’s just blunt deception soon dropping dead to distance. maybe we’re both meant for nothing more than a peck on the cheek and passive-aggressive complacency. maybe i’m the popsicle puddle melting forever in your sweetest summer sadness—but i won’t be watered down. and i won’t hold you back. if you’d just wait a little bit longer, then maybe will turn into…

something else?

and i’ll be the one singing for you, this time. and you could keep it. you could keep it all for yourself. i won’t mind, i promise. it’s always been yours.

because—dearest applebee, you’re just so;

you’re just too incredibly exquisite.

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Filed under Prose

Oblivious.

He was always

A speck in space

Unable to be seen

By the naked eye

Floating around,

U n r e a c h a b l e

.

It was foolish

Of me to attempt

To catch a meteor

Without thinking

That it would burn

My fragile palms

.

So I stood every night

Under that canopy of stars

Wondering. Hoping. Waiting.

Until the moon bleached my skin—

But shooting stars can never fall,

They will only pass you by.

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“Patience Is A Virtue”

Don’t break yourself now

Keep your temper in

And bleed your mouth dry

Trying not to scream

They won’t hear you anyway

And they’ll never listen

Not until they find evidence

Then they’ll lock you up

Sabotaging the hate they all

Once told you to ask for

Crashing the arrogance until

Everything’s fucking stale

So don’t break yourself now

Because even if you do

It’s not like it will even matter

To anyone but yourself.

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afterwords

rain and quiet conversations

with the shadow of a stranger

warmth of coffee, cold of night

mishaps fleet, transient danger

stresses, messes, second guesses

caught in breezes, puzzle pieces

chicken soup spilled on the soul

artworks of silver and charcoal

daylight saving, wasting evenings

under trees and benches, petrichor

desolation wrapped around blue bones

waiting for the time when it feels like home.

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Filed under Poetry

I Don’t See It

Oh, I don’t forget every time you say
We’ll have the life that we pinned up on our wall
Can’t push the future back another day
‘Cause we been waiting for so long…

~*~

Give me a moment to burn

So I could learn to stay awake

If I had planets inside my lungs

I wouldn’t ever let them turn

.

And I’m making paper cranes

Out of magazines and yellow pages

Pushing back the future I thought

I’ve been building high for ages

.

The authenticity can grow tiring

And the static channels memerising

But I can only wait and wilt again

Feeling thorns wrap around my skin

.

So just show me what you meant

When the promise entered my brain

Like another bad syringe injection

But with a higher dose of pain

.

So I could stop burning dishonestly

For the sake of asking for bad company

If I had room for faith inside the sun

I’d keep it in the dark—that way, it’s more fun.

~*~

I’ll let you promise worlds to me
And you can take the lead, if you show me what you mean
We can build this life we dream of
I don’t wanna wait, making plans for yesterday…

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Filed under Poetry