Tag Archives: wait

parched for time

the hours

are slowing

insufferably

clocks melt

and shiver

quite palpably

the minutes

chew seconds

and spit them out

i’m still waiting

and failing; patience

dries my mouth.

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unempathology

waiting sullenly

for nothing

amusing with

pathological lies

thoughts of

arson and murder

a thousand ways

to fucking die

waiting worn-out

contemplating

the demise of both

opposed parties

to who gets killed first

it won’t be a mere

act of cruel vengeance

but an act of mercy.

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Picnics in Cemetery Weather

And your beautiful boy won’t wait for you
Because he’s busy with the stars and the fame
And I don’t know why I breathe
It’s taking too long for me
Can we speed up the process please?
But show me the one I need…

~*~

Vindicated reveries I swallowed down again

Intervals of distorted depictions that harshly glow

Condescending sensations bruise my heart

Tantialising and reminiscent, yet arrogantly so

Obsequious whims that won’t let me speak

Releasing profanities in a dead language, I seek

Valiance and candour, your voice is but a faint pulse

In which I can never fathom how to exist without

Neurotic spills of pain preventing this blood overflow

Colliding your star-laced firmament with my tenebrific doubt

Emollience of your elegance, almost a kaleidoscopic song

Neverminds I attempted to hazard into a remorseful clandestinity

Truculent tantrums terrifying, as cemetery weather rages on

Forever’s not a problem for you, so I’ll wait for you and listen to eternity.

~*~

I need somebody (somebody)
Somebody crazy enough to tell me
“I will love you ’til we..”
I will love you ’til we are buried
Our bodies (our bodies)
Our bodies buried close together
Cemetery weather…

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Postcards and Polaroids

Hey, I know it hurts to watch me leave
But say it ain’t so, how could you ever replace me?
You’re so shy when you wanna be standing in front of me
Mind spinning in circles, you’re waiting to speak
These hands here in front of me anxiously wait to see
How’s it gonna be?

~*~

There’s splinters in your voice

And rusty needles within mine

If you honestly think it is not

We’ll both sing until I’m dying

Burn me in acerbic memories

Of another sophisticated heart

And there’s a deathbed waiting

But it wouldn’t keep us apart

For anagrams and polaroids

In lost horizons of liquid grey

In letters of an erased caption

As the wind spells out your face

In yellowing stamped postcards

Thrown in a fireplace’s compost

Replaced with ashen reminiscent

I’ll remind you of what you lost

Dear, I’m bedridden with guilt

And your fading name made me

Tear all the IV lines away and out

And drop out of ancient history

Was I wrong to do things right?

The bleeding keeps getting worse

As the stains fall against your lips

And in my paper-thin cotton shirt

But we’re only chasing nightmares

Dragged in our sempiternal reveries

Like the delusions of a red madman

Until we trip and skin both our knees

So tie a garrote ribbon around my neck

And keep a white daisy chain entangled

On my wilting hair and in my frail skin

I’ll hang myself cold and star-spangled

Darling, your ocean eyes are distracting me

There’s nothing but infinite abyss in mine

If you honestly think I’ve never fathomed this

I’ll let you go away so you’ll have a chance to be fine.

~*~

Before I go, oh oh oh oh
Let me remind you what you’re waiting for
Before you go, oh oh oh oh
Could you love me just a little bit more?
One more time…

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Infidelity in Fast Lanes

I’ve got a question
Did you think that we would ever believe you?
And on the note of rejection
The line you walk is getting thin, so thin
Your green eyes are potent
But last night I know who you were with…

~*~

Forgive me for the blatant jealousy

I crashed under in high speed velocity

Veering wildly on a falseless hope

This is more than I could have coped

I guess I didn’t expect more than one

To shove down my throat the gun

That would cheat my arrogant death

As you’ll hold away my last breath

Splinters divine like a crimson rose

And I can’t chase your peripheral ghost

So listen up and you won’t speculate

Love the hate and fucking hate the hate

Keep nice thoughts under your pillow

We can reach the distance by tomorrow

If the western train doesn’t take a shortcut

Then I’ll lose you with all that I’ve got

My darling Texas girl, please wait for me

You’ll leave so soon enough regularly

So forgive me for the implicit infidelity

Let’s try this again more slowly, and maybe I’ll be sorry.

~*~

Go back home now and go back to sleep
And we say, go back with someone else who
Who wants you more than me…

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metal & skin (xi.)

waiting for the right

time to come

isn’t really helping

all it does

is further intensify

the agony

that you’re prolonging.

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sentenced

time moves

too  s l o w

when you’re

waiting for

death row.

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X Marks on the Calendar

“So I’ll toast every beat of my heart like a miracle.”

~*~

Writing scars down your stomach

The acidity ate its way to your lungs

And your decaying and putrid heart

Until you throw it back up, it stung

.

You just have a few weeks to live

Several days to breathe before you die

Which is the most god could give

Calendar holidays in red to bleed a sky

.

Another x mark in your checklist

Another x in your pallid internal system

X’s scribbled on your friends’ eyes

Avoiding your gaze to avoid goodbyes

.

Stuck in synthetic hospital wards

Until the taste is stuck in your tongue

The chlorine and antiseptic pills

Hopscotch games over the IV line one

.

World’s destiny was revolved for your leave

And you swallowed the death cure a bit late

So now you have just a few weeks left to live

But somehow that seems far too long a wait.

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spoke[n.]

victims

of a witch

liplocked

with a

slow jinx

like lemonade

hearts

on a nickel

store’s stand

it’s too hot.

.

don’t laugh

at how absurd

it all feels

as i hanged,

faltering by the

edge, fulcrum

taking hold

of every sense

of each word

from a fall

kill the sunlight.

.

the apartment

doors are

closing, but

i’ll hold

the knob ajar

and cover

the peephole

against intruding

eyes and

hushed tones

i’ll warmly wait for soon.

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Sleep: Letting Go Of Your Dreams

“There are these terrors, and it’s like, it feels like as if somebody is gripping my…are these terrors, and it’s like, it feels like as if somebody is gripping my throat…not like tremors, worse than tremors, there are these terrors…at night, there are…not like tremors, these are worse than tremors, there are these terrors, and it’s like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing…and like as if somebody was grip—”

~*~

Falling asleep…

A faint dream

In an elevator scene

An exploration

A decrepit room

And finally,

A music box song

That seeped

Onto reality…

Turning into

Static and wails;

Hell’s personal melody

Roaring madly

Past my ears

And the nightmare began.

Jolted into limbo

The familiar room

Materialising in front

Of my tired eyes,

But what the hell…?

I cannot sleep,

I cannot wake up,

And I can’t move...

I can’t move.

God help me,

I fucking cannot move—!

An invisible force

Pressing down on me,

Sent crawling chills

Down my skin

With every attempt

Of futile movement,

Dinning noise

Painfully screeching

Against my ears,

A beast has

Taken control of me

And I don’t know

What to do anymore.

Heartbeat panicking

And mind in a frenzy,

I tried to be calm,

To be stupidly rational

With instructions

That came out

Of a 911 operator’s

Mollifying mouth…

Okay, think this out!

You can do this.

Wiggle your toes.

A hallux, a minimus,

Just try it, okay?

There, good!

It’s working now…

Just try to move,

An arm, a leg,

A muscle, anything

At all, and then

Wait for it to spread

Across your body…

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

It doesn’t work.

I’m stuck.

I cannot break away

From the demon

That pins me

Within its claws

Rendering me

Immobile,

And screams

Triumphantly loud

In banshee roars

Deafening me

Of common sense.

I’m. Fucking. Trapped.

So what now?

Helpless as I’m

Paralysed, frozen

In a foetal position

Half conscious,

Half unconscious

Lying in my bed,

Unable to move

Or shout for help,

I give up

I’m reduced to

Waiting for it

To simply end;

Waiting for the

Monster to be sick

Of such games,

Waiting for reality

To take me back

And wake me up,

Waiting anxiously

For that final

Sweet release…

But will it even come?

~*~

“…Sometimes I see flames. And sometimes I see people that I love dying and…it’s always…and I can’t…I can’t ever wake up.”

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