Tag Archives: wander

Saudade

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my source of discomfort stems from sweeter apathy,

the one that subtly shifts behind frayed sweaters and

bubbles up from under clogged drains; the kitchen sink

is stained with petrified rose petals, your disinfectant love

creeps like cold chlorine under my tongue, and your kisses

taste like taking a deep breath under a swimming pool

but i don’t know why i cough up sea salt in my lungs

and the sand gets in my eyes and my fingernails, the

irritating grit keeps me vainly scratching all throughout

the night. you don’t seem to mind, for you have the covers

wrapped tightly around your body like a quilted cocoon, and

there’s a steady rhythm humming beneath the sweaty pillows;

of oxygen, and slowing pulse, and being unable to dream

while i dream up enough nightmares for the both of us

and the noisy skeletons in our padlocked closet. nobody’s

around to witness me jumping to conclusions, just an

inch of mattress that translates to transcontinental throes

you are so impossibly distant, whilst i quietly sit in the same

chair by the jammed window for hours and let myself wander—

perhaps i might chance upon a fairy tale place where home

feels like home, and not simply another temporary kingdom to lose

your keys; and where you are no longer a strange extraordinary metaphor

but rather, just a tiring contrary cliché that i’ll be more than glad to call my own.

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Gemstones and Constellations

You tried to kiss me through the window
I tried to settle for the taste of touching glass

Over the sound of answering machines
Because I love the way your voice
It says it’s gonna get back to me someday…

~*~

Remember the morning that wept cold stars like winter rain

Diamonds unraveling as they danced against the faded windows

As the pale pink light beneath the horizon left taciturn stains

On the browns and greys of onlooker eyes, barely open with sorrow

Painting a polychrome noir by the griefstricken brush of a god

Seeking those wandering souls that have strayed too far to go back

Piercing glass concealed fallen ashes that traced the broken blood

Like bitter scepticism left locked under closet doors so it won’t distract

Remember the morning that drained nights of their dissonant reverie

As for saving the stars that fell that evening…only a fated few were so lucky.

~*~

And this is gonna be the best day of my life
A celebration of an ending, come on…

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Disoriented

Do I look lonely?
I see the shadows on my face
People have told me
I don’t look the same…

~*~

keep your nerves

at the back of nowhere

leaving tiny traces of

a formaldehyde smile

for everyone to dissect

like it’s the latest kind

of a wrongful death

you’re damned if you do

and a ghost if you don’t

haunting the minds of

puerile, fleeting crowds,

caught in a lightning storm

but never feeling the rain

so sink into it, sink into

everything and nothing all

at once, creeping slow,

wandering skin barely touching

papers strewn across lips

and simply keep your nerves

somewhere no one could

tangle them into knots.

~*~

I’m cutting my mind off
Feels like my heart is going to burst
Alone at a table for two
And I just want to be served…

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Secret Catastrophe

i am lacklustre—

butterfly wings devoid

of floral-rose shade

lost within asteroids

.

i don’t seek cold seas

or gift-wrapped love

i wished desperate throes

from broken-bent doves

.

only pain lit in purple

unveiled under a night sky

all-consuming death—wanders

in my azure-blinded eye.

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aesthetic

I see meaning where you don’t, where you don’t
I see waves of pastel orange and yellow paintings fire
I see futures that you won’t, that you won’t
I see futures where our nights are lost to condensation…

~*~

i see a future

in your smile

and a dimple

with a bruise

eyes that light

a jar of fireflies

and could fill up

an ocean trench

that button nose

twitching quaint

and slightly red

from bad pollen

ears perk, listen

for symphonies

and hear out the

sourest of notes

lips and tongue

in soft half moon

which you never

wane to a full one

as eyebrows that

raise in quick wit

miss the eyelash

that grants a wish

with zinnia tresses

in springtime wind

you use it to hide the

blush in your cheeks

i see grey and colour

blacks and whites in

that simple mind that

wanders far too much

it’s too bad you don’t see

the same way i do, and you

only see time ticking seconds

away from your quiet beauty.

~*~

Running through the cold air
Searching for a meaning
Passed out on the concrete
Dizzy from the spinning
Wake up to the feeling
That everybody’s leaving…

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Another incident in the darkness

raven hallucinations

take over furtive glimpses

of a wary glinting eye

.

the nightingales are

mournfully weeping as the

crows cackle “someone’s going to die”

.

deathly silence enveloping

thick as the opalescent fog that

obscures the most crepuscular of souls

.

all before a distant scream pierces

the infinite nightmare; and another

wandering entity is devoured whole.

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Astray

In the wandering throes of innocence

I wonder if I am truly—

Lost…

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northern headaches

The August sky will then bare witness 
To a brand new chapter with torn up pages 
When the planets align, I can feel the gates opening 
To my courage as I proceed to run my fingers through her hair 
And forget everyone who’s jaded, ’cause they don’t matter…

~*~

sometimes i wish

that the northern lights

would disappear

at the tip of my tongue

and fade out into

blustering brushstrokes

of roseate evergreen

as if it was the words

to my seraglio symphony;

the distracting g-clef

submerged under an array

of spinning notes that dance

under the flimsy ebony

spill of the midnight breath

inhaling once, twice…

whispering woes of another

nightingale’s serendipity

bracelets interlacing the velvet

skeins of a dream that i once

lost…and i’m still losing…

i wander past vertical fields

and topsy-turvy ravines

until my footsteps are no

longer mine—to keep,

to feel, to trace with the

tip of my quill and ink

and i recede; as the nimble

mimsies that blush a vibrant

pastel on my flushed lips

kiss me a somatic farewell—

sometimes i wish that the

northern lights would never

melt and falter away.

~*~

Brash and hopeful 
That my luck will not perish tonight 
And when the overcast tries to kill me 
It’s your slow motion rain 
That falls warm on my neck that keep me alive…

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The Bone Orchard

In the bone orchard of midnight lavender

Branches pale and bleached, devoid of colour

Where the moon is solemn and stars are buried

Under shadows and overhead darkness florid

.

In the bone orchard of midnight lavender

Where no fruit bears and life burgeons never

Drowsy breeze pushes skeins of leaves wilted

Fluttering like grotesque wings of a raven threat

.

In the bone orchard of midnight lavender

Chill with solitude and still as stagnant water

Black bonfires flicker in garish admonition

As brooding souls wander and moan in perdition

.

In the bone orchard of midnight lavender

Where the restless death shall thus repose forever

Droves of vermins under groves of tales entombed

Where the spectres and spirits linger in their gloom.

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★ you home ☆

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

shall i spend eternity

waiting for a sign, and

flip wishing wells down

the tarnished dimes?

doomed to wander

and to ponder and

to be rended asunder

waywardness forever?

that, i’ll accept humbly

my wanderlust, wish

of worlds in reverie

never one with a roof

but nay will you be

dragged along my mad

adventures, you ate

your fill, you’ve had

never mind the roses

that get tiring after a

bit of a while, empty

as your shot glasses

shall i wait for you to

dance the pub roam

or finish another drink?

you proclaim no’m!

perhaps i’ll wait until

you see monochrome

and pass out and then,

let’s get you home.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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