Tag Archives: wish

circling infinity

colder nights

where i wish

your limbs

are intertwined

with mine

summer snowfall

cotton fibres

wandering

empty branches

all over again

vast meadows

for ancient souls

to rest on

fragrance of

inkstains and dying

strawberries

breeze whistling

haunting melodies

but i stay away

from noisy static

and i listen to

a smiling song,

hidden blush

distractions

oh, i don’t mind

messy clouds

clearing up

a splatter

of shy stars

slowly make way

for a painted

embrace

fairy lights and

oceanic laughter

lying in wait

a soft illusion

of hyperrealisms

and misplaced

daydreams

fell dryads of life

neither mine,

nor yours

our transience

taking chances

still fighting

against control

and colours

and this violent

riot of frigid

chemicals

blissful nothing

smitten euphoria

an oxytocin kiss

for a love that

won’t exist

in a future

vespertine or

less miserable

than a cold night

all alone,

contemplating

sombre and lost

picking dead grass

from high tops

and sweaters

and tangled veins

gently hoping for

a vacancy, yet

unraveling at

the harshest thought

of somebody else

interlocked with

your limbs

arms and legs

talks and lips and a

puzzle of bones

and reposing bodies

tranquil hush

whispers of blue

fading away

and falling down

keeping all of your

warmest nights.

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Minor Extraction

Darling, you punch in my throat

Like the neon drinks I just knocked back

But it didn’t give me half a buzz

In the way your lilting voice left me apart

You’re my lucky 11:11, if I didn’t

Wish out just a couple minutes too solemn

And let your photos do the talking

Silent as I was, pounding beat of the sirens

Mouthing lips into avalanche, and

Another crimson tidal wave just left to decay

I swear I wouldn’t do this again, but

Here I am, losing my sense to your sympathy

But applebee, you’re my only buzz

When all the bitter brews fail at their only job

And I would give hell to the blood

In my brain for another chance at this brittle love.

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long gone

i swear,

it’s not the

same paradise

safe to say

that i won’t be

safe to forget

.

until you leave

my rusty nerves

and steal back

the soft bruises

you created from

broken planets

.

i swear,

it’s all fine

until you quickly

stand up just

to give me more

reasons to trip

.

but i know

i cannot have

anything else

anyway—i guess

that you’re my

only deathwish.

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Temporary Weather

and i’ll catch up.

i’ll stumble out of this blackout, even if it takes more than a few scars and stars and more than a few yesteryears

falling apart and over and down and out and again but never giving in and saving the old lies for the worst parts of my life

left in the past not made to last

i used to believe in you but i don’t believe myself

but now maybe there’s a sliver of faith left over for the both of us to have, if you’re willing to share

you’re doing better now. you’re doing fine more than ever. though you know that stability won’t always mean permanent happiness, you’ve found your comfort in the cold

and the sun, little darling, is slowly warming up to you

and i’m happy for you. i really am.

with your pretty floral dreams, in technicolour. beyond the vale, no longer fit to be called mere dreams. sweet pastels. exquisitely tangible. mine still exist only at night

hiding beneath the darkest shadows and crashing through shut jagged windows and seeping deep like charcoal into my nervous system

and most nights, i can’t even sleep at all

but i’ll shut my tired eyes and make a wistful wish, i’ll keep my sleeves clean for the magic tricks, i’ll bare my levitating heart for the ones that i love, maybe they’ll be amused by it and raise their lips, maybe they’ll simply dismiss it and hate the cheap theatrics but

i’ll hope, still. and i’ll wait. and i’ll create. until nothing becomes something becomes everything becomes

infinities. a second of a lifetime. time. i have time.

and i’ll catch up.

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Filed under Prose

wish

what i’d

give for

my brain

to just be

fucking

n o r m a l

for one day.

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Filed under Poetry

tasteless skittles

how is your voice so incredibly exquisite?

i wish i could keep it—i wish i could keep it all for myself but i know that’s just a dumb dollar-store daydream now. i swear i’m not senselessly selfish but i couldn’t help all these hysterical feelings, fleeting and fumbled, collapsing and careening, swelling and spilling beyond my exhausted arms but i’m not tired of you yet; though every unsolved puzzle piece i propose to pick out is so pleasantly problematic.

you’re so weird, but i like that.

maybe it’s just blunt deception soon dropping dead to distance. maybe we’re both meant for nothing more than a peck on the cheek and passive-aggressive complacency. maybe i’m the popsicle puddle melting forever in your sweetest summer sadness—but i won’t be watered down. and i won’t hold you back. if you’d just wait a little bit longer, then maybe will turn into…

something else?

and i’ll be the one singing for you, this time. and you could keep it. you could keep it all for yourself. i won’t mind, i promise. it’s always been yours.

because—dearest applebee, you’re just so;

you’re just too incredibly exquisite.

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Ornate Messes

Don’t react when I tell you
That bright lights mean
Nothing to you
Because no one would know
The sound of a ghost
And I might be something to you
Beyond beautiful…

~*~

aching fingers

and lavender sunsets

a collection of

scrambled letters

disguised as your name

.

dusty lines scribbled

on the back of a

twice-used post-it note

in this long stretch of

afternoon torpor—

.

creaky guitar strings

played out of tune

exhausted calluses

a step in the right key

still proudly smiling,

.

two hours of strange

dreams, and excitement

before awakening;

a walk into stunning

darkness, mere glimpses

.

of moonlit epistles,

coffee after midnight

existential wishes

shooting stars dragging

out hope and lost love,

.

rekindled aspirations

blooming into memory

a song finally taken

to heart, after years of

waiting for the right time.

~*~

My darling, never rest
Until the darker gets
The best of all we had
Can the cold carry on?

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nightmare tripartite

i’m sorry for the way

i hurt you in my dreams

lats night, when your

afterimage turned cold

and the flutters in my

throat hardened to steel—

you had cherished me before

and yet i bluntly rejected

the only part of you that

you held out to vulnerability

.

but now i have the nerve

to weep, to explain, to seek

out for your forgiveness?

when my fingerprints are

covered with manipulation

and yours are burned off…

i only wished for you and i

to be in perfect unison;

instead i separated us

both behind layers of reality

.

as i violently jolt awake

chest constricted, breaths shallow

your disappointed face still

haunting my imagination…

i’m so sorry for the way

i didn’t hurt you at all—

oh, but i adore you too much

and i could never do such a thing.

i could never hurt you like that.

i’d never…i’d never give myself the chance.

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March Miracles

This March, I wish for miracles

For muted sunsets with more meaning

For smudged sunscreen and summer sweetness

For neon melodies and sparklers exploding

.

In a myriad riot of excited celebrations

From late night kisses and senseless stars

And another birthday without a haze of blues

Feeling the warmth of home from afar

.

When I no longer chase for sprained daydreams

Because you were right there all along

To be my cause, my cure, my counterpart

To be my reason to write better songs

.

So I’ll rest in idyllic afternoons of yellow

Under the shade of softly-swaying palm trees

Wind rustling my hair, smile in my teeth

As all of my worries momentarily cease

.

For every catastrophe, for every cosmic lie

For every sugarcoated scheme, sweeter than a sigh

For every clever credence, for every convalescence

For every severed space where nothing else makes sense

.

This March, I wish for miracles

For messes and madness with more meaning

This March, I wish, I hope, I miss, I will go

Follow everything I love and know, and maybe I’ll keep my soul singing.

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29 – january candy canes

go ahead and raise up that scarlet umbrella

to fight against acerbic deception and winds

and sing me as song as fragile as the moon

.

of idyllic interludes of a thumping piano

decadent as the afterthought of samsara

but not quite as disenchanting as a eulogy

.

and frailer flavours of icy mint and failure

mingling with petrichor and soft lemongrass

so provoke my lullabies, while you still can

.

for soon, i’ll lose the ability to fall asleep

and when the weather turns cold like this

the rain shall only be another dying wish.

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Filed under Poetry