Category Archives: Poetry

from a writer who can’t write, to a friend who doesn’t care

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you down
And out is where you ought to stay…

~*~

i’m never enough.

every time i build

my invincible walls

back up, you shatter

it with a crashing

sledgehammer

and a glint of your

candy fucking teeth

you’re so goddamn eloquent

an angel with a seraphim

choir voice, heavenly

and i’m just a shitty

raconteur, a useless dry

quill pretending to be

a writer, a croaking bullfrog,

a clean cut nothing

vying to be the something

you would notice and

admire back, and maybe

even e n v y . . .

but no, don’t read

the lines in the wrong

perspective, oh no

i adore you so much

darling, that it turns

my heart into chiseled

stone and devours my

lusted guts like acid

in my abandoned brain

for your creative spell

is my personal dante’s hell.

but this jealousy

hurts so fucking good

that i find ways to

compare, contrast

and inflict pain on myself

emotionally, mentally

p h y s i c a l l y

desiring the day you

finally notice my scars

and compliment them

and i’ll feel fucking

revered and glorified

by a cheap side remark

by a person who couldn’t care

to a thing with ugly taint.

am i really so insecure

as to resort to low blows

and pathetic attention whoring

to feel a little better

about my blithe existence?

F U C K. Y E S.

because no matter how

many beautiful words

i bleed in silver and gold

from my pen and

into the blank canvas,

prose, poetry, stories, lies—

i’m just never enough

to make myself worthy

for myself…

no, i’m never fucking enough

for you.

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Ring the Bell Referee, and Let the Fight Begin

Such a shame you had to go and run your mouth
Your mouth is what you make it but at least I’ve got real friends—
Can you hear me now?! Now that I’m a big star!
Fuck you and your no love for yourself! (It don’t mean shit…)

~*~

Life is a kickass enemy, and the rage is a motivation

Let the judges slit my throat over my unorthodox declaration

It’s hard punches and cold lunches packed with action

Move closer to me now, and step into my own creations

Say my sullied name again, I’m stronger than before

I left my shoes under the bridge so when I fly, I feel lighter

Honestly it’s not that easy to have half of my fun

But this crimson ink bleeds so I won’t have to use a gun

My fingers they splinter from frenetic movements

If I’m still alive right now, I’m only breathing in segments

Ideas run wild and I stumble, I gotta pace to keep up

And I have to learn more about gravity to get the last laugh

Hear the sound of my voice among a stentorian million

Fuck the stars and dollar bills that sing against my emotion

I’ll whisper in silver undertones and break my voice on needles

Roll the dice but you can’t solve all my cryptic riddles

Don’t take my jealous life of matches and propane lights

Kill it fast, don’t let it die, I’m on a hurricane tonight

Spit and masticate the contract written on skin and paper

Throw the shreds in the seafloor bed under the polluted waters

But oh my god, I’ve been looking in the wrong direction

Running away in pilchard pastels over twisting intersections

This turnpike velocity won’t be my ultimate weakness

I’ll try not to splinter my soul, I’ll try never to second guess

So stop staring at me now, your glare is nitrogen seething

I promise I’ll be even later for our preliminary meeting

I’ll praise the chicken scratches I’m proud to call my home

Cursed again, this foolish confidence just won’t leave me alone

I’m exhausted, I’m burnt-out, and everything quavers spasmodically

But shit I’ll use my own words, I’m not gonna borrow from the dictionary

I know this adrenaline high will wear out soon, I’ll collapse from temporary exhilaration

But goddamnit I’ll drag my broken legs to hell if I have to, and I’ll abuse this rare motivation.

~*~

And I’ve got so much to give
But I would kill just to feel less invisible!
And you’ve got so much to learn about gravity
So live it up baby don’t look down
(Live it up baby, don’t look down…)

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A Box of Sharp Things

Please do not

Notice the fresh

Scars on my skin

It’s nothing—

My clumsy hands

Just slipped on a

Box of sharp things

Yet again…

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friction

a shoulder grazed

untouching friction

a backward glance

a wordless communication

silent discourses gone

it never meant so much

more to a simple stranger

who needed some complication.

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In Love and War and Unfair Scars (Nothing is fair!)

A counterfeit heart hanging on by the rope

And I peer at the moon on a blurred periscope

It’s a suitable drink for a girl who can’t think

Love your temper command, you’re so pretty in pink

.

I’m roadkill staring wide on a truck headlight

And gunned fingertips tremble as sharp as a knife

Steal a kiss in the dark, I’m more painful than lust

There’s a thrill in the shame of our summer

.

Blaze the fire tonight, grinding teeth ignite

Leave a scar, scar! Go to war, war!

Burning eyes have cried, lose the broken fight

Made of scars, scars! This is war, war!

.

We spill together as we crash along the halls

This love is over but I still can feel our fall

We go together but we don’t go out at all

.

Smoke of cigarette ash and it hurts to the core

And you drown in grenades but you beg me for more

Make a wish, never miss on a sorry little lie

I’m intoxicated by the trigger to die

.

Failsafe but we choke, caught the locks in our throats

Golden keys that we turn don’t sound the alarm

Great escape lost its grips, there’s a hole in the boat

Dear I told you we’re nothing but trouble

.

Blaze the fire tonight as we both ignite

Drawn in scars, scars! Under war, war!

Burning tongues they light and we’re so contrite

Buying scars, scars! It’s world war, war!

.

We fall together from our lingered pride too tall

This love is over but I’m scratching on the walls

We go together but we don’t go out at all (Don’t go!)

.

Hearts on fire tonight, it’s a bitch to fight

‘Cause this is war (Don’t count the stars…)

Love feels like war (We’re battle scars!)

.

Blaze the fire tonight, don’t let us ignite

Bleeding scars, scars! Fun as war, war!

Burning souls delight, we’ll go down in spite

No more scars, scars! Love is war, war!

.

We fall together but I don’t mind hate at all

If there’s another love, I’ll wait for it to call

We go together and we don’t go out at all

.

This is the end era, we’ll start again and heal our sins…

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Six: metal & skin (v.)

sharp,

slash,

slit,

sanguis,

splash,

s[k]in.

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metal & skin (iv.)

i remember

memories

more vividly

when i’m

in pain,

so was it

my sin not

to forget, if

i want the

memories

to remain?

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metal & skin (iii.)

someone

please

give me a

blood donation

so i could

cut myself

and bleed out

all over again.

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