b.r.a.i.l.l.e.

i am with the wind.

and the exhilarating thrill

envelops every sense,

taking my aching bones,

my hour-old bruises,

my smiling chipped teeth,

my angry brown scabs,

and lulling them back to rest,

making the pain seem like

just another pastel dream.

everyone’s just a myriad blur,

a riot of ceaseless colours

all rushing past me as

wheels bite gravel and spins

me to a whole new revolution

of a different planet in a

different existence where all

those bad memories don’t exist,

only i, and the sweat and rain

soaking the angel wings on

my back; feeling gravity

and friction and momentum

and all those ethereal forces of

the universe ensconced between

my scuffed red sneakers.

it’s all tricks and treats,

and it doesn’t matter if i fall

and eat concrete a thousand times

trying to do the same thing over again;

it doesn’t matter if i go home

always with new holes all over my

favourite jeans and jumpers

every single damn time;

it doesn’t matter if i’m being

chased away by the people who

think it’s a vagrant’s crime…

because the past and future tense

doesn’t matter when freedom

is felt right here, right now,

with me and my ride,

and i am the wind.

trapped in my headcase

i’m stuck

all alone

with my mind

to torture me

to prod needles

behind my eyelids

and call me a

worthless failure

a fucking loser

and every other

insult that i’ve

heard a million times

before already.

i want to jump off

the window of

this speeding bus

and run away

from my friends,

from my family,

from everything

and everyone

that i ever failed—

including myself…

but i just can’t.

so instead of that,

i’m stuck here

with my cruel mind

playing tricks on

my worthless self,

gritting my teeth and

telling me lies

as i’m just silently

screaming and

hating myself because

i believe it’s all

fucking true.

It All Falls Apart

I wish I could, but I don’t always
Keep the promises I’ve kept
I wish I could, but I can’t always
Give whatever I have left
And now it’s all so clear, doesn’t anyone
See what’s happening here?

~*~

Put me back together, just another plea unheard

Walking away from tragedy, walking with the truth

For elastic tongues can deceive us no longer

Collapsing narcolepsy is a premise for the fervour

.

Time had a deadline, and we’re not built to last

Every time I look back is just a bullet from the past

Reminded of the way it was before the war began

And ended with waste and sorrow, and a broken man

.

The space, the divide, the disconnected furrows

This time as we fired the shots, we made sure to be thorough

Didn’t give me a choice, just a white flag to surrender

Shouting seventh chances from another graceless pretender

.

What could I have done? What would you choose?

I was so ready to give it up, though I didn’t want to lose

What was there to take? Was there anything to fix?

I was paying for my dirty crime with capricious tricks

.

Everything I am, reduced now to what I once was

Blood on my words and on my hands, unremarkable and crass

What can’t be forgiven now lays in a grave so shallow

Who knew that when everything falls apart, it leaves a scar so hollow.

~*~

It falls apart form the very start, it falls apart
Seems like everything I touch falls apart
Everything around me falls apart
When I walk away from you…

symptomatic sentiments

what makes

people tick

isn’t the

complicated

tricks,

it’s the simple

emotions

of a heart so

s i c k.

Let the Emperor Have His Fun

Mortal kings are ruling castles
Welcome to my world of fun
Liars settle into sockets
Flip the switch and watch them run…

~*~

CAMISADO

The devil so clever with your little tricks

With your heart so cold and your head so sick

That even the boy with the mind so quick

You were able to push to the edge, like breaking a stick.

~*~

APPLAUSE

Silent, sullen, sneaking in the shadows so stark

Tried his best to hide but kept glowing in the dark

Until he realised it was futile, hiding was never his cause

And he lived not for anonymity, but for the applause.

~*~

APPLE-POLISHER

A ghost visited the man to take back what’s rightfully his

Left with a debt, while the visited man, a crucial clue he missed

Blood is thick and crimson, his ragged scarf was blue

And a single note on the blood-red fruit left to say I O U.

~*~

STAYING ALIVE

Breathing is so dull and life is so boring

Newspapers, TV, all but dull fairy tales over and over

To save me from the aridness, I wrote my own ending

I died in the end, but then again, that’s what life is for.

~*~

THE GAME GOES ON

So you saved the day, got redeemed and honoured

Defeated me after a million tries

But you forgot that heroes always get remembered

But legends surely will never die

And so the curtain rises and the game goes on, you see

So my dearest archnemesis, solve this one last riddle: Miss me?

~*~

I’m taking back the crown
I’m all dressed up and naked
I see what’s mine and take it
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)…